


Orientations

by ShadowMeld



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha!Eren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst and Humor, Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega!Levi, Romance, Slow Burn, written pre-season 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-06-08 15:45:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15246585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMeld/pseuds/ShadowMeld
Summary: O·ri·en·ta·tion(noun) the determination of the relative position of something or someone (especially oneself).From the moment he took responsibility for him Levi knew the kid would be a pain in his ass.  It had just never occurred to him how literal that would be.





	1. Chapter 1

**O·ri·en·ta·tion**   
_(noun) the determination of the relative position of something or someone (especially oneself)._

Outcomes rarely aligned with anyone’s expectations. If someone had told Levi five years ago that his squad would be primarily composed of brats from the 104th he would have thought they’d lost their damn mind. And yet many seasoned, reliable soldiers had fallen while those brats persistently survived.  It was a shock he had yet to fully reconcile.

By now Yeager and friends had made multiple expeditions beyond the wall.  He would reluctantly admit that he had become accustomed to their continued presence.  It was... troubling.  Regularly he found his gaze traveling to his stupid subordinates.  It was a dangerous way of living.  Levi knew that he should have been pleased to have another strong team with a high survival rate, but instead he found himself instinctively braced for impact.

What was worse was that they were also getting used to him.  Yeager had learned to make his tea the way he liked it.  Hell, even the brat’s titan form had begun to be considered a real asset and not just a reckless gamble.  If he were honest he’d say the willful idiot probably listened to instructions better as a titan than he ever did as a dumb teen.

Levi had been so accustomed to thinking of attachments as transient it hadn’t occurred to him what would happen when his recruits grew up.  Though if he had thought for a second that he would end up the babysitter for a bunch of teens on the cusp of maturity he would have probably killed them or himself.   Fortunately, none of the presentations had been terribly eventful.  With his luck he doubted that was bound to last.

***

Of course, when everything went to shit it did so spectacularly.  Levi was just observing the drills of the new Survey Corps trainees with their 3DMG when a scout came running out of the barracks.

“Captain! It’s Yeager, he’s manifested.”

A quake rumbled through the ground, making Levi readjust his footing while the messenger looked about ready to jump out of his skin.  “Tha-that's him.  He lost it, he half transformed in the hall.  One of the officers said something about Alert, he started growling and--"

“I get the picture kid, tell Hange you told me and I'll be on my way.” 

He handed the reigns of drill observations to one of the less incompetent trainees and set off towards the source of the commotion.  There was a time he would have come running, assuming the worst of a situation with their resident titan shifter, but at this point without a roof collapsed he was fairly certain it would be alright.

It was easy enough to find Yeager when you just followed the people running in the opposite direction.  The low growl he had heard to begin with was now a steady resonance that made the stones vibrate beneath his feet.  Despite the ominous nature of the noise, there didn’t appear to be any structural damage.  That meant the situation couldn’t have devolved too badly.

That wasn’t to say that when he turned the corner he was expecting to see Yeager clutching Armin while he growled from the hollow head of a titan.  An officer looking scared shitless was pressed against the opposite wall.  He was in one piece, so the bastard was likely luckier than he deserved.  No doubt he was the cause of all this damn trouble.  The spooked MPs lurking at the end of the hall could obviously not get a shot in with the tranquilizers through the rictus of titan teeth, so naturally they’d run to get an adult.

“Yeager, what the fuck are you doing?”

The growling sputtered to a stop.  “Captain?” came a raspy voice from within the gruesome maw.

“Yeah, it’s me brat.  You’ve made quite the mess.  Seems you can’t even present without getting things filthy.”  Steam started to flood the hallway, causing a number of people to shuffle further back.  The shitstain who’d started this mess was dragged out in the fog and Levi stepped a little closer once it wasn’t so oppressively hot.

“Sorry, sorry.  Captain, I just… he…” was all Yeager managed to get out before about ten darts nailed him in the chest. 

“Enough,” Levi snapped grimly, raising a hand to make sure a couple skittish newbies didn’t have Yeager taking a dirt nap.  Ten was a bit much, but it wouldn’t kill him.  He waved away the steam as he approached.  Armin’s arms were wrapped firmly around the collapsed titan shifter.  His eyes were a little moist, but he knew as well as anyone something so small wouldn’t kill Yeager, even if it wasn’t doing him any favors.  It could have gone a lot worse.  At least after years of this he’d managed to beat some manners into this ragtag bunch.

“S-sorry, Sir.  It’s my fault, Eren was protecting me… or at least he thought he was.  Josephson was getting aggressive—”

“I get it, Arlert.  He’s not being put down, but until he gets his shit together he’s going to be bunking in the dungeons again.”  He’d been expecting some sort of incident ever since Alert had presented as omega, particularly because he hadn’t opted to go on any suppressants.  It hadn’t been a popular choice.  Despite it all, Levi respected the kid’s strength to choose a harder path.  It wasn’t easy living openly as an omega.  It was no secret that the higher ups hated them.  Of course very few had clearance to know that Humanity's Strongest had that dubious distinction, though he was on enough suppressants to choke a pony.

If the common man knew what sort of poison Hange was pumping out to fill his veins it'd probably be considered a war crime, not that he gave a fuck.  The side effects were worth the freedom from his wretched biology.  And if he bled from his eyes once in a while, well that was a small price to pay.  He doubted Erwin's self-righteous ass would see it that way, but then it wasn't any of his damn business.  Most people thought he was a beta, and he liked it that way.  Sure, he got a bit more sass than a presumed alpha would, but he found a few well aimed demonstrations did just fine straightening that out.

His secondary gender was most days little more than a minor inconvenience.  Other than the little perks of the suppressants he went throughout his day like any other soldier, minus being quite so fucking disgusting of course.

Too eager footsteps echoed down the hallway just before Hange came to a stumbling halt before Yeager’s unconscious form.  Squinting at all the rapidly clearing steam, the mad idiot looked immediately dejected.  “Awww… I missed it!  He transformed didn’t he?! Just a little bit…”

Levi rolled his eyes at her antics, “it was just a head.”

“Damn! That’s the best part,” she whined, then stepped a little closer to Alert clutching his friend.  A deep breath in was all that preceded an abrupt jab with a syringe that had even Levi wincing.  It seemed the scientist hadn’t taken long to recover if they were already taking more blood samples.  “He smells pretty ripe.  That might be the heaviest alpha scent I’ve observed.  No wonder the MPs almost wet their pants.  Just presented too... Did he make any moves on you, Arlert?”

Though he looked alarmed, the blonde was firmly shaking his head.  “He just defended me.  Josephson started harassing me and Eren stepped between us.  He didn’t even look at me, just growled at Josephson.  When he didn’t back down this happened.”  For an unaltered omega, Arlert was strikingly calm near the newly presented alpha.  Levi couldn’t smell much himself with all the drugs in him, but he’d been given to understand that it shouldn’t be an easy thing.

“Strange.” Erwin’s cool voice came from behind Levi, the tall man gazing impassively at the unconscious Yeager.  It looked like he’d just come from a meeting if all the papers were any indication, though something was oddly stiff about him.  “If he just presented he should have not been able to resist.”

Levi gave an inelegant snort before he offered a hand up to Arlert as some of the MPs gathered Yeager’s limp form.  “Sounds like an excuse to me.  Considering how alphas like to brag, they seem to think their self-control is shoddy at best.”

Erwin as usual didn’t answer the taunt, still lost in what was probably an endless stream of machinations.  Arlert too seemed to be quietly thinking, but the two were cut from the same strategically-minded cloth, it was no surprise.  At least the kid snapped out of it when Levi patted his head, herding him firmly towards the canteen.  “Looks like those idiots interrupted your dinner.  Come on, you look like you’ll fall over with a stiff breeze.”

It was easy enough to distract the kid when he was looking so worn thin, he’d let the goons deal with Yeager for a while.  He doubted he would need much watching passed out in the brig.

***

It was more the fool of him to think that anything would be simple when it came to their resident titan shifter.  Levi had thought the situation had been resolved when no one came to bother him after the little presentation incident.  He had not expected his attention to be returned to that mess by a tearful Alert claiming they were keeping Yeager locked up in the dungeon a week out.

“Keep your panties on, Arlert.  I’ll go find out what it’s about.” He waved the kid off, who At the least was good enough to make himself scarce once Levi started moving.

He’d been busy these last couple weeks preparing for the next expedition beyond the walls and it hadn’t occurred to him to investigate Yeager’s situation since no one was bothering him.  People were usually all too happy to shovel shit onto the captain where Yeager was involved.  The sudden silence now was starting to seem ominous.

Looking at the kid now, he could see why Alert would be worried.  “You look like shit”

“Thanks, Captain.”  It sounded shattered coming out of Yeager’s chapped lips.  He didn’t think much would beat pulling him out of a titan husk stinking of smoking meat and blood, but this seemed worse.  At least Yeager was passed the fuck out after that and not awake looking god damn pathetic.

Sweat covered every inch of Yeager’s quietly writhing figure.  The shackles long ago deemed unnecessary had returned accompanied by a remarkably short lead keeping his wrists and ankles bound to the bed posts.  New was a muzzle tight to his face that looked to be chaffing something fierce.  The whole image wouldn’t have seemed so gruesome if not for the blood both fresh and dried haloing each of his limbs. 

Struggling had obviously gotten him nowhere, but it didn’t look like the kid could help it, not if the grotesquely tented sheet twisted up between his legs was any indication.  Honestly it felt inappropriate just looking at the kid tied up like some kind of feral sex demon, which he supposed he kinda was.  “Is this really the best that Hange can come up with? Tranqs and creepy bondage?”

It seemed a stretch to call it a smile, but Yeager tried for it, even as his head tossed back in some tormented spasm that had him arching over the bed.  He looked bad shaking and filthy sweaty.  He’d seen plenty of alphas in post presentation rut, none of them had looked this bad.  He was surprised the kid hadn’t gone insane left in this state for a week.  “Is your dick broken, what the fuck?”

Yeager was out of it, but Hange was plenty eager to pipe up as they trotted in.  “There seems to be some interaction between Eren here being a high cycling alpha and the sexless nature of his titan form.  The typical sexual release is not sufficient grounding for a titan alpha with heavy pheromones like this.  Working theory is that he may need a bond to end it.”

“A bond?” That was… serious.  He was pretty sure the kid wasn’t even fooling around with anyone, and now he needed to essentially get married to end his rut?  This brat had to have pissed someone off in a previous life. 

“Yes. We’re looking into options now.”  Even past the haze of lustful agony it was obvious that Yeager was upset about it.  Not that he blamed the kid.  Usually a dumb alpha just presented would be running around dipping his wick into just about anything that would stand still long enough.  They sure as hell wouldn't be thinking of saddling themselves in a bond.  And bonding to a newly alpha titan shifter…  Who the fuck would sign up for that?


	2. Chapter 2

“We're mating him to Arlert"

“Huh?” the corporal’s eyes narrowed at Erwin's stupidly placid expression, “whose dumb fuck idea was that? That kid barely presented himself and they're trying to mate him to willful brat that's been in rut for the last 3 weeks?”

“Eren cares for Arlert, he will be as considerate as he can.  Don’t worry, we plan to keep Yeager secured for everyone's safety.”

Levi could just imagine: the two of them practically brothers engaged in an awkward fuck that neither wanted any part of.  A side of bondage just to spice things up.  “Has the kid even had sex yet?”

Even Erwin’s self-righteous ass had the decency to look uncomfortable as he glanced delicately away. Not that he deserved it, the scheming fuck. If he was going to breed the two like animals he should have to fucking watch as their delicate dreams and illusions were crushed beneath the boot of military protocol.

“You know that kid’s in love with Kirstein.”

Those blue eyes didn't wander from their spot somewhere in the distance.  “I know. “

“but you don't mind manipulating his love for his friend anyway.”

“What would you have me do?  Yeager is a liability as he is now.  A dangerous one, and if he’s not mated soon to an omega he will be put down.”

He couldn’t stand it.  Arlert hadn’t even been an omega for a year and they were already wanting the kid to take one for the team.  He knew the two didn’t have any real attraction between them.  The blonde had even gone through his first heat suddenly in the dorms and it had been Yeager that had fought off the others and dragged the vulnerable new omega off to the safe rooms.  If there had been any kind of attraction between them he wouldn’t have handled it so well no matter how much self-control he had.

“Yeager needs an omega.  Without one to settle his hormones he won’t leave that rut and will become more dangerous everyday.  You may not have seen, but he nearly shifted when an alpha came in to speak with Hange in the dungeons.  It took ten times the normal amount of tranquilizers and nearly as much suppressant to calm him down enough that we could convince the officer that he wasn’t a shoot on sight.  He needs a mate, and not just any mate.  He needs a bond to a compatible omega.  Arlert may not be the most ideal choice, but he cares about him and is willing to sacrifice to keep his friend alive.”

Sacrifice.  How he was really getting tired of that word.  “It’s still a shitty thing to do.”

“Shitty or not, it’s going to keep him alive.  There aren’t that many viable omegas in the Survey Corps, and we don’t want the Military Police getting their hands on him. Not after all the work we’ve put into him.”

Levi went still a long time, feeling a bone deep weariness settle upon his shoulders.  Erwin knew better than to meet his gaze as the captain’s lip curled up.  “Why don’t you just get it over with?” he hissed, quiet and incensed. “You and your fucking games.  Just order me! That’s what you want to do, instead of playing these stupid goddamn games.”

“If you don’t agree Arlert is our next course of action.  He is aware of the situation and has agreed that it’s for the greater good.”

He, for one, was getting about tired of the collective welfare that seemed to take the most from those with the least left to give.  When was the last time those fat cats behind Wall Sina had their rations cut or their bodies sold for the good of the people?

Before he hurt someone, Levi took a moment to sip his cup of tea, sighing briefly as even the luxury of rare goods wasn’t enough of a distraction.  He felt again the thin braid of noose Erwin so carefully placed upon his shoulders so long ago.  This is what happened then he was fool enough to think of anyone but himself.  It yoked him.  He couldn’t fight his hardest, or fuck, fight at all.  They’d just had to wait and the brass had everything they wanted.  They knew he’d be damned if he would let their baby genius be thrown at the resident problem, not when he'd sworn to take responsibility.  Not if he could stop their dumb naïve hearts from breaking as Arlert was all but raped by someone that was supposed to be his friend.

Erwin crossed his legs again, and all at once Levi could remember how he hated him.  “There are options…”

“Why can’t you just say it?” the words were deadly quiet across the surface of his cup.

“It's not an order I can give.”

“And yet you're going to struggle through anyway.”

“No one will force you. “

“You mean no one _can_ force me. Your bullshit games are another matter.”

“How's your leg?”

He didn’t hit him.  Not because he was better than that, but because he wouldn’t give the man the satisfaction.  He would do nothing to justify Erwin's twisted version of logic.  People like himself and those kids didn’t matter to Erwin, not more than his grand design.

 “It's fine.”  They both knew it wasn’t.  He would heal alright, but the mistake was not one he would have made not long ago.  Hange's suppressants were good, but for long term use they were dangerous.  He hadn’t had a cycle in nearly ten years, before it had been worth any risk.  The side effects had been growing increasingly severe but slipping up on a mission made them possibly fatal.  Of course, Erwin knew that, the smug fuck.

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  I know it seems terribly convenient for the brass, finally getting the chance to tie you down, but Yeager is not a poor option.  He respects you already, and I don’t see the boy changing his tune after you’re mated.  He would be the best protection for the assets of humanity possible.”

And if it meant the uppity omega took a bit of alpha dick, then more’s the better.  He could imagine how satisfied those old fucks would be to see him mated to some dumb baby alpha.  As reluctant as he was to admit it, Yeager was not a terrible option.  He still had every confidence he could keep the boy in line, but that didn’t mean he liked the idea of giving the disapproving public what they wanted.  Levi wouldn’t say he had a type, but if he did it would be… older.  Thank fuck the kid was a late bloomer, because he would not even be considering this shit with a fifteen-year-old.

As much as he hated it, things couldn’t stay the way they were.  There was no way he was letting Alert sacrifice all that he could have for this.  Yeager would try to be careful, try to be good, but there was no controlling him completely.  Reigning in all that aggression and lust was not the task of some lace knickered maiden; no matter how smart.  Levi was old, jaded, and on so many suppressants he probably wouldn’t be much phased even by the disgusting amount of hormones the young alpha was no doubt pouring out.  It would be unpleasant, but he could take the pain. 

“He could be good for you.”  Still filled with a cold anger, Levi was surprised to meet the commander’s clear gaze.  For once it was not focused into the distance but direct, softening slightly on him.  It made him want to hurt him, break him in ways he couldn’t even imagine.  He wondered if Erwin had been born this insufferably patronizing, or if it developed over time.

Taking another long sip from his cup, Levi sat back in the plush chair.  He already knew what had to be done.  No use dancing around it any longer.  “I’ll be his fucking chew toy, so tell the kid he’s off the hook.”

“Thank you, Levi.”

“I’m not doing it for you, you pompous ass.  Now get the fuck out of my room.”

“I’ll have Hange inform Yeager… is there a time…?”

“The day after tomorrow.”

Smith paused at the door, “So soon? The suppressants will take weeks to leave your system, it will—"

A teacup shattered against he doorframe mere millimeters from Erwin’s head.  Levi hadn’t moved from his seat.  “Next time I won’t miss.”

Needless to say, the discussion was over.

***

“Ohhhhh… you lucky, lucky boy!  I know at least a dozen senior officers who would die to be in your shoes, and at least a few who actually have.” Hange could barely contain their excitement, bouncing back and forth on her heels before the cell.

It was hard to focus on anything, but Eren tried, eyes tiredly narrowed as he watched them pace beyond the bars.  “H-have you found a way to stop this without a bond?”

“Oh?  No, you definitely have to mate.  Don’t worry!  It’ll be fun.”

“So Armin is… Jean will be… God why do I have to _ruin_ everything?!” Eren’s voice broke on the words, helpless to keep the frustrated tears from rolling down his cheeks.  “I can’t even fucking present without destroying something—”

“Oh no, not Armin!  He was our hold out plan if the first option didn’t work.  Sorry not to tell you.  No, Erwin and I had someone much better in mind, much better indeed.  This is perfect.  Do you want to know?!  Of course you do!”

Eren fell back into the sheets as he was flooded with sudden, shocking relief.  It was almost enough to warrant a laugh, but he feared that it might tumble into hysteria.  God, he was so glad.  It didn’t even matter who anymore, he could take it.  As long as Armin was safe, as long as he didn’t ruin everything between them.  There was no way their friendship would survive something like this.  Armin deserved better.  

He didn’t know who else they could have in mind, but he was prepared to bear whatever he had to if it would mean his friends would not have to suffer.  All that was left was to hope it was someone tolerable if they were going to be bound together for the rest of their lives.

“Are you listening?” Hange whispered suddenly, much too close to the bars.  Even though Hange was a beta it made his muscles jump with instinctive aggression.  These fucking hormones.  He couldn’t think, not with this body that seemed driven by nothing but frustrated desires.  It was so goddamn hopeless.  What good was he laid out, aching and sick with drugs that made his head throb while his body did the same with no relief?  It was an endless cycle of torment punctuated only by the dumb rumble of instincts he barely understood.  Still, ignoring the inevitable wasn’t going to get him anywhere.  After a few dry swallows he nodded for Hange to go on.

“Our very own lovely Captain Levi.  He agreed to mate with you!  You are going to be the cutest little couple.”

Eren wasn’t aware of even registering the words before he seized against the bonds.  His body burned, his every thought overcome by a melting, vicious desire that made him twist within his bonds.  He couldn’t think anything for long moments as he fought the wave of need that threatened to drag him down to madness.  He couldn’t shift, he wouldn’t.  He had to hold it back.  “He… Captain Levi… he’s an…?”

“Yes, Levi is an omega.  It’s rather hush-hush, best kept least interesting secret of the Corps.  But now you know! He’s been on suppressants long enough that it’s no surprise that even a high cycling alpha like yourself wouldn’t detect it.” Hange paused, “interesting though, you must have been reacting unconsciously before.  On some level you must have recognized...”

Eren’s mind was still trying to cope with the concept of Humanity’s Strongest being an omega.  It wasn’t that he thought omegas were weak, Armin was proof enough of that. But Captain Levi had always felt so distant.  He was a hero, someone to admire and aspire to be closer to.  Thinking of him as having a corporeal form with wants, needs and desires… it was remarkably arousing.  He had always liked the way the captain moved.  He was small but compact, ruthless with features that were remarkably elegant even if they were not beautiful in a traditional sense of the word. 

To think that he would be an omega… It was hard to picture him vulnerable, flushed wet and receptive… but maybe scowling, aggressively taking his pleasure.  He could imagine him tight and sweet as he wrung him dry with teeth bared in feral triumph. 

A sharp sting made Eren collapse, confused and blinking into the darkness.

“Sorry about that! You were getting a little too worked up.  Had to give you something to take the edge off.  But worry not, seems your grumpy prince is impatient to get things going so he should be paying you a visit pretty soon.  For now, how about you take a nap and preserve your strength, alright?”

It’s not like Eren had a choice, even then he struggled desperately with consciousness.  He had so many more questions, but even more he just wanted to see the captain.  He missed his quiet vigil.  

Now he was going to be with him.  They would share something much more than simple comradery.  It had seemed an impossible fantasy so long, buried deep beneath shallow thoughts of tumbling bar girls or faceless images of pleasure.  He was scared to want it; how could he not ruin everything?

***

Levi irritably rolled down his sleeve after Hange drew what seemed like a ludicrous amount of blood.  “Fucking vampire,” he mumbled, though the disparagement was just met with Hange’s usual brand of batshit crazy good humor.

“I think someone’s a little nervous that they’ve got a date with their long-repressed desires soon.”

“You’re going to have a date with a lot of pain if you don’t—”

“You know it’s too early,” the words were suddenly quite serious as Hange leveled him with a disturbingly perceptive gaze.  As frustrating as the manic genius act could be, it was worse to be the subject of Hange’s serious scrutiny.  Just dealing with it made him tired.

“What is?”

“The suppressants need to work themselves out of your system.  I’m giving you detox enough that you’ll be able to produce sufficient omega hormones to bond Eren for his rut, but you won’t have enough to restore your equilibrium.  At best the sex will be uncomfortable considering the suppressants have also curbed your sex drive.  When was the last time you had an erection, or even become wet?”

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

“That long?” Hange didn’t sound happy about it, or even scientifically minded, just weary and rueful.  “It’s not ideal, considering he’s hard to control right now as it is, but if you wait a week your body will be much more receptive.  I don’t think even he would want this from you knowing it’s just going to be painful.  You’ve given up a lot, to finally mate like this…  it shouldn’t…”

“It’s bad enough being the love toy for a baby alpha so he can fuck out his rut, I don’t need to go getting sentimental about it.  I can deal with pain just fine, it’s better if one of us has the presence of mind to control the situation.”  If Levi had ever held the romantic delusion of bonding as some sort of holy act he had long since been disabused of it. 

Being an omega in the underground was no asset unless you were planning to sell your body.  Down there you learned to be honest about some things.  You knew that partnerships were not about love or desire but about power and safety.  There was nothing special about a body.  It was just a tool and it could be an asset or a liability.  His had been an asset, but that tide was beginning to turn.  He’d watched hundreds give their lives for humanity, the least he could do was endure some discomfort to secure the ray of hope so many were foolishly clinging to. 

Yeager wasn’t the most inspiring option, but he was what they had, and he’d taken responsibility for the kid.  At the very least he could follow through.


	3. Chapter 3

After the third hour of vomiting his guts out Levi was feeling about ready to let Yeager solve his own problems.  He knew his body was effectively expelling toxins, but this seemed worse than the side effects everyone was always bitching about.  He’d been locked up in his room, becoming frustrated as he couldn’t clean fast enough to keep up with his body's erratic whims.  His eyes wouldn’t stop leaking and his hands could barely hold a broom.  His ass ached, and it definitely was not in a sexy way.  Levi felt fucking filthy.  The glands in his neck throbbed and no matter how many times he wiped them they stayed slick with sick smelling oil.

Hopefully Yeager was into fucking necrophilia because he was pretty sure he’d be a god damn corpse by tomorrow.

It was several hours in that he realized he may as well not leave the bathroom.  Instead he just laid in the tub, aching and miserable.  He only left occasionally to renew the water so he didn’t stew in his own tepid filth any longer than he had to.

“Levi?” came an unwelcome voice far too cheery for his growing migraine.

“If you’re not here to kill me get the fuck out,” he stated flatly before dropping his head against the porcelain lined rim.

“I have come bearing water and fruit.”

“Then fuck off.  I’m sitting in goddamn water.  Bring me tea and painkillers, you sadistic wench.”

“Tea will only dehydrate you,” Hange chided before setting the fruit on a nearby stool.

Levi groaned quietly as he let his gaze drift the door. “If I wasn’t dying right now I'd throw you to the Wallists as a heretic.”

The section leader barked out a laugh and stumbled inside, blinking wide as she took in Levi’s wretched misery. “If that was going to work I'd be dead twelve times over already.” 

“I hear thirteen is a lucky number.  Or is it unlucky? Doesn’t matter, it’s worth a try.”

A sloppy grin crossed the looming mad woman as she shoved a pitcher rudely forward.  “Well, you can’t be that bad if you’re still spry enough to complain.  Any dizziness? Muscle aches? Uncontrollable vomiting?”

“All of that.”

“Wonderful! Then it’s working as intended. I'll just need a little sample--"

“If you touch me, you’re losing that hand.”

“Oh, feisty.  You know, you’re going to have to get used to sharing your toys soon.”

“I wonder where Survey Corps is going to get their next mad scientist after you meet your grisly demise? Probably Rose University where they got their last one.” The lazy menace was of course met with Hange’s usual good humor.  Was there ever anything more annoying than energetic people when he felt like shit?  Probably dumb people, but at least an idiot would give into his fucking demand for tea and drugs. 

“I know you’re not feeling very sexy now, but I will say that even as a beta you’re starting to smell a bit… better.”

He wasn’t sure he like the sound of that.  “You better not have mixed something in.  I do not want any damn idiots sniffing around me like a bitch in heat.”

“Nothing like that! Though I think your particular dog is going to like it.  We informed him of the change; he seemed very receptive.  We had to tranquilize him.” The suggestive eyebrow wiggle was unnecessary, and unappreciated.

“Lovely,” Levi stated, his voice was dull and tired as he contemplated the kid’s reaction. Honestly, he was rather glad not to be there if only to avoid the stupid questions.  He may have accepted the inevitable, but that didn’t mean he was happy or looking forward to utterly destroying whatever professional relationship they’d had with this cluster fuck.

“I know this isn’t an ideal scenario, but at least Eren desires you, that will make things easier.  Not that everyone didn’t know he has a bit of a thing for you.  He’s also filled out rather nicely, and I’m not just saying this because we have him tied up in the dungeon.”

“Stick with the crazy science bullshit, Hange, you’re not his pimp.  I’ve already agreed.”

“I know, I know! It’s just sometimes you get quiet and I worry that you’re thinking too much about things.  He’s a beautiful young man and he wants you, it should be simple enough.  Humanity can suck it for a moment, have a good time.”

If every inch of him wasn’t in pain, he might have managed more than just to roll his eyes.  “Maybe pitch that to me when I’m not sweating, brined in my own filth because of your magic potions.”

“Well, once you’re fully off those suppressants you’ll be feeling quite a bit different, I assure you.  I dare say you’ll be thankful to have an eager young alpha at your disposal once all those needs come back.”

“Hange, if I vomit again, it’s going to be on you.  Just get the fuck out and leave me to my misery.  I’ll report for your check up tomorrow and head to the dungeons afterwards, alright? I don’t need anymore awkward coddling.  It’s not my first time, and I won’t break.  Save the creepy pep talk for Arlert who’s probably enduring Kirstein’s awful fumbling by now.”

“Are you sure you want to do this now?  We can still wait--"

“How much longer do you really think the Military Police are going to stand around holding their dicks?  They’ve already sent over envoys inquiring about Yeager's presentation.  Even Erwin's bullshit can’t keep them at bay forever.  Eren presented alpha. We expected that, but the situation is even more fucked up than even Erwin anticipated.  Everything we’ve worked for could fall to shit now that he needs to be bonded.  Whoever pairs with him will possess a means of controlling the greatest weapon humanity has.  We can’t afford to lose him. I swore to take responsibility, and I will.  No matter the cost.”

He didn’t flinch under Hange’s scrutinizing gaze, though her regard lasted for long moments.  Despite her eccentricities, he knew she meant well.  They both knew what needed to be done.  No one was comfortable with all the unknowns in this equation.  Yeager was the first titan shifter to ever come to presentation within the walls. 

Braun, Hoover, Leonhart and even Ymir had been post-presentation and all were unbonded.  They didn’t even know if that was a coincidence or if there was something to it.  None of the titans had been omegas either.  As far as anyone knew he’d be the first human to mate to a titan, presuming this even worked.  It was a huge gamble, and no one knew how it would turn out.  But no victory in this war had ever been achieved without risk.  They…he was putting a lot on the line.  He had to.

A firm hand clasped him at the shoulder and he refused to seek its comfort.  Hange smiled anyway.  “Well, it looks like you’ve decided then.”

Levi narrowed his eyes, but Zoё was quick to throw up her hands in surrender.  With a much too dramatic sigh she dropped the pitcher of water on the table propped up by the tub along with a few fresh towels.  The promise to see him tomorrow was less welcome, along with a vial of suspicious liquid he was glad he didn’t see until she cleared the room.

It may have been prudent, but it didn’t make Levi want to smack her any less.

“Shit,” he breathed into the silence.  This was such a mess.

He knew the brat looked up to him.  It was hard to ignore the blatant worship in his eyes when they’d first been introduced.  That secondhand awe usually washed right out with continued exposure to his generally abrasive personality.  Yet somehow Yeager’s fixation on him only deepened. 

Even after he’d beaten the shit out of him the kid didn’t shrink back like he should have.  He’d just accepted that Levi’s actions were for the best and placed his trust in him.  It had pissed him off. That kind of devotion was dangerous not just for Yeager, but for Levi as well. 

He knew himself enough to recognize the answering desire to prove worthy of those expectations.  It was hard to stand detached when others looked to you for strength; for guidance.  That didn’t mean he hadn’t tried.  But the kid wouldn't quit, he just tried over and over again until Levi finally acknowledged him.

Even as it sickened him, Levi found himself pausing to watch as the crumbs of his regard were lapped eagerly from his careless hands.  It was perversely satisfying.  Want and need; human emotions that could be as strong as they were dangerous.

He liked the kid.  He hadn’t intended to, because he could tell from the start that the kid was a magnet for trouble.  No path he took would be easy, and anyone involved with him would be subject to the fallout.  It was as inevitable as anything.  But in such a fucked-up world where so many were lost to despair, there was something comforting in watching that dumb brat stand back up again.  He was in possession of such a terrible will that it was striking to behold.  He could be led, but only where he wanted to go by whom he wanted to follow.  He had conviction; but he needed someone to focus him.

Levi would continue to be that person.  The bond would be more effective than any chains the military wanted to put on him.  Most alphas would fight up to seven minutes past conventional mortality in defense of their omega.  He couldn’t help but wonder how long a titan would last.

***

Only in the privacy of his mind would Levi admit how he lingered that evening, delaying his inevitable bonding with the brat he knew was waiting for him. Cleaning his office again wasn’t going to change the reality of what he and to do, but it gave him some sense of peace.  Who knows if he’d be in a state to clean it afterwards.  It was best to get it done so he could collapse back in his rooms with no lingering chores nagging at him.

His appointment with Hange came and went with the usual frustration.  It was mostly full of unwelcome advice and even less pleasant innuendos before he was given a damn well gratuitous series of shots.  The uncomfortable bit of preparation afterwards was something he never wanted to think about again.  He still didn’t feel anywhere near normal, but at least he wasn’t about to vomit again.  Levi made himself stop adjusting his cravat, loathing the sort of weakness that would make him hesitate. 

He knew what needed to be done.  All that was left now was to do it.

Drawing that resolution around himself like armor, he set off to the underground cells where they were keeping Yeager.  It was eerily quiet on the walk down.  A scout standing guard had let him in, but otherwise it seemed to be barren.  No one was patrolling the halls, yet he could sense the air getting heavier with something as he approached.  

Torches lit his grim descent, and he marveled silently at how a once routine path had become so surreal.  He reached the landing to spot light spilling from the cell he knew contained Eren Yeager; an alpha all but lost to rut and waiting to bond with an omega.  Waiting to bond to him.

As he neared Levi was surprised to be met by the crisp scent of cleaning products.  Someone had taken the time to mop and wipe down nearly every surface approaching the cell.  It may not have been up to his standards, but the effort still spoke of a consideration he would never have expected. 

Of all the dumb shit for them to do…  Despite himself Levi felt some of the tension in his shoulders loosen.  Shitty as the situation was, it couldn’t compare to the trials they had endured to get this far. 

The iron key felt unreasonably heavy in his hands as he at last came to stand directly in front of the cell.  He found himself squinting against the unexpectedly abundant light.  The whole scene was like something out of a trashy book:  Jaeger was chained tight to the bed and writhing while a frankly ridiculous number of candles flickered on every spare surface.  He imagined Hange was responsible for that.  The warm light reflected reverently over a body chiseled to impressive form by a life spent training it into a weapon.  He didn’t look one bit like a kid, and for that Levi was thankful.

Past the scent of heavy cleansers was something else entirely.  It was such a strange thing to perceive, but it grew stronger the closer he came to the cell, set a tension ringing in his bones.  Half-finished feelings rose to the surface only to be viciously tamped down.  It confused him; made him hostile until he finally understood.

Pheromones. 

Levi almost laughed.  He’d been nose-blind for so many years his body had all but forgotten how to be an omega.  He had caught flickering hints of other scents before, but this was as different as drinking was from drowning.  It was invasive, inescapable, and every breath took it in deeper.

Individual scents were often likened to personal charisma and Yeager’s was nearly overwhelming.  Even as he struggled to focus through it, he had to admit it fit.  He could see why the other alphas nearly shit their pants.

Levi didn’t register the low growl that had been stirring the air until it sputtered to a stop as he stepped closer to the bars.  He could sense the force of Yeager’s sudden attention.

The situation was both better and worse than he remembered.  Some efforts had obviously been made to clean the kid up.  Thick bandages had been worked between the cuffs, but Yeager’s perpetual tugging had already soaked them through.

The muzzle was gone though, not that the glimpse of those sharp teeth past the brat’s pained grimace gave him any comfort.  At least he wouldn’t have to take it off himself.  He wasn’t sure he wanted his hands anywhere near those teeth until he was sure of the kid’s control.

Despite the precautions, the titan did not seem nearly as close to the surface as others had eluded to.  Some of it was just the kid.  He was older; his features sharper and more refined.  In the chains that hard body looked near bestial.  The visual gap between man and titan had narrowed naturally with age.  He wasn’t a monster yet; just a strong alpha sporting an extra feature that was thankfully not present on a titan.  Levi forced himself not to look too long at where the tangled sheet tented luridly before him.

“Captain." Yeager breathed the word like salvation.  In all honesty, it was more a stay of execution.  

The title stirred Levi from his reverie, his gaze focusing finally on Yeager’s face.  He wished he hadn’t.  There was no other way to say it: the kid looked hungry.  Like some wanted for food or water, the brat looked at Levi like the one thing that could keep him going. 

He heard the noisy inhale as Yeager scented the air with evident relish.  A tremor shuddered suddenly through that tan chest slick with sweat.  The sight made Levi strangely uncomfortable because he could feel his body aching to respond.  Thank fuck he wasn’t fully subject to biology’s foolish whims.  This situation was already complicated enough. 

For a long time they just existed silently within each other’s presence.  Levi watched the kid take slow, labored breaths.  It seemed a struggle for him to keep still.  He could see the way his brow furrowed with the effort, how his teeth clenched behind a mouth kept carefully shut.  It was restless need followed by expectant quiet as Levi approached the bars.

The sound of the tumblers turning in the lock were unnaturally loud in a silence interrupted only by the poor kid’s heavy breathing.  Levi didn’t allow himself to hesitate further and crossed the threshold, taking firm strides towards his inevitable fate.  The closer he got the more he could see Yeager’s body twisting; he looked much worse up close.

He appreciated that they’d taken the time to change the sheets, but that was no match for the fever that was obviously making Yeager soak the linens.  It looked agonizing, but still he didn't lunge for him when Levi approached.  He just turned to Levi with those too large green eyes, looking shattered before him.

It had to be a crime for an alpha brat to have such expressive eyes.  It made it so much harder to be firm when he could look so desperately earnest.  Alphas in rut were supposed to be uncontrollable monsters; little more than beasts.  Of course, Yeager had practice controlling a more sinister darkness than this. 

It was strange to say, but this was probably the most human the kid had ever looked.   Even in pain Yeager expressed a monstrous focus.  Here he was deep in his first rut prolonged for weeks and he managed to hold himself together. Ravenous as he had to be, he somehow managed to look more vulnerable than ever. 

Damn it all.  If only the kid had acted entitled to him, spouted filth and tugged the chains… but no, he just looked pitifully longing until Levi weakened under the weight of his need, unable to abandon him.

A powerful tremor set through that tan body again before Yeager fell back to the bed shaking.  “Captain, I… don’t feel well.”  The voice was rough from disuse, but more than strong enough in the circumstances.

“Yeah?  Well, you look like hell.”

“Thanks,” Eren managed a smile, watery and weak with pain though it might be.

“You’re welcome.  Don’t worry, brat, I’ll fix you up.”

Seeing Yeager in such a bad state made this easier.  It felt less like something for himself, or for the brass, or whatever other bullshit forces were trying to badger them into this unholy union.  He was just taking care of the kid, giving him what he needed, even if it caused some momentary discomfort.  Sure, the mating was permanent, but that didn’t mean the kid couldn’t later pursue other avenues.  He’d be fine with that.  For now, Yeager needed something only he could provide.

Focused on the objective, Levi started to undo his cravat.  He tried not to think too hard on the green eyes watching with rapt fascination.


	4. Chapter 4

It was with the utmost greed that Eren watched the captain start removing his clothes.  There could not have been a more perfect hell than this.  Work as a soldier left little room for modesty, but this was nothing like washing blood off their gear in a frigid stream.  They were alone now, and this meant something very different.

Eren was half afraid to close his eyes for fear it was a fever dream.  He’d been fading in and out for days now and Hange’s erratic appearances provided little reference for time.  The captain had featured often in those lurid blackouts.  Memories of their time together colored with desperate, aching need. The only thing worse than the desire was the guilt.  He remembered the captain flying to kill the titans; glorious and merciless.  He saw Levi covered in blood like desire and saw himself with heavy hands on that svelte body licking it off, swallowing down pulpy chunks of titan flesh while the captain gasped beneath him.

He was ashamed even as he was disturbingly aroused.  Eren came to lucidity hard and sobbing so many times he thought he’d lost his mind.  And now his fantasies were coming true.  Even before he could gather breath to beg Levi was revealing himself; showing him the body he was going to share with him.  Orientation classes had outlined the differences between secondary genders, describing hormones and feelings that happen post-presentation; but nothing could have prepared him for this. 

Every inch of pale flesh that was revealed had him riveted.  For someone who spent so much time outside the walls the captain was remarkably fair.  One wouldn’t think such a small body could be powerful, but Levi was impressively muscular.  Not a bit of him was wasted.  Clearly visible on that pale skin were the marks where the harnesses of the maneuver gear carved into his skin.  Eren healed just about as fast as they could develop, but he knew other cadets complained about them.  Though Levi… he wore them proudly.  They looked like a perverse adornment hugging his chest and back, wrapping covetously around his thighs.

It made Eren want to bite them, taste the blood close to the skin, see if a soldier ached there the way the others did.

His fantasies almost distracted him from the moment Levi finally dropped the last testament to his reserve.  Eren swallowed hard as he spotted the one bit of fat left on the captain’s trim form.  The soft under curve of that ass made him whine aloud as Levi stepped out of the undergarments to place them delicately with his other clothes.  Though the captain’s face didn’t show much reaction, he was coming closer to the bed.

“Captain…?” His voice was hoarse as he ached to reach out.  Levi was so perfect, but some of the scents made Eren confused.  He couldn’t smell any answering arousal, but that didn’t seem to dissuade the captain from boldly mounting the bed.  Before Eren could voice a word to question it Levi was seated astride him, pulling the sheet away from the young alpha’s rampantly erect cock.

“Fuck me. What are they feeding you kids nowadays?” It didn’t seem to be a question, but Eren could see the way the captain's eyes widened as he looked at it.  It did not appear to be a look of anticipation. 

The expression flooded him with panic and he almost broke the chains to reach for Levi.  He couldn’t leave him, not now… He didn’t think he was that big.  Others had commented occasionally, but it had all sounded like a good thing.  The captain was looking at it like a problem, like it wasn’t going to work.  Eren hadn’t considered how petite the captain was.  He had thought omegas were built for it, but what if he was wrong? “I’m sorry, please—”

He was abruptly cut off by a hand taking firm hold of his cock.  “L-Levi…!”  That hand measured him, felt his girth and tugged the length until Eren was shaking and helpless underneath him.  His hips tried to thrust up into that strong, small hand, but he didn’t have a chance with how Levi would pull away when he tried to take too much.  An instinctive thrust that managed to stir the captain from his seating was met with a sharp smack to his hip that forced Eren to focus again.

It felt so good; filthy but right.  He found it comforting that Levi handled him like he did everything else, rough and certain in such a way that Eren didn’t have time to think about why he shouldn’t want this.  A strong, mature omega had his hands on him and that was all his body cared about.  That and how incredible the captain looked astride him, how fine he would feel and taste. 

Levi had always been so powerful in his mind; would he be like that with Eren inside him?  Would Levi take just what he needed?  Or would he enjoy Eren taking charge?  He didn’t really care either way.  All he knew was that he wanted it.

“You are making quite the mess,” Levi remarked idly as he spread the leaking moisture all over his swollen tip.  His hips twitched against his will and he had to force himself to settle for fear of Levi taking that cruel hand away again.  “Pervy bastard.  Look at you, squirming like a slut.”  The entire time Levi was working his sore cock, making him lose his mind at the indecent assault.

Eren knew he should be disgusted, horrified by what he said, but it just made him impossibly hotter.  He’d been denied for so long that being touched like this was almost too much.  “Wait, wait! Please, I'm going to--"

“Already, Virgin boy?” Levi breathed a chuckle against his ear before leaning forward, “you’ve got to mate me to end this rut.”

“You have t-to…”

“I don’t have to do anything.” Levi snapped, low and authoritative in a way that made his balls ache.

He almost reached for him. “Please, Captain. I need it.”

A single lazy blink was all that preceded that hand mercifully leaving his sensitive cock, “I see.”  Levi’s careful hands explored his chest as it heaved for breath, leaving Eren to watch his face with desperate fascination. 

“Shitty kid. The things I do for you brats.” He was ready to beg if he had to, but despite the peevish tone Levi was moving further up his body. 

There was no warning, no sweet words or sultry build up before Eren’s cock was being enveloped in impossible heat.  “Yesss…” Levi was so tight it almost hurt.  Eren swore under his breath as he felt that svelte frame convulse around him.  His own hips quivered, wanting to thrust into that yielding place but every time the chains would draw him up short.  He was astonished by the relief he felt.  This was exactly what his body wanted, what it had been tearing him apart to get for weeks now.

He found his gaze captivated by the figure of Levi straining above him.  Sweat glistened off the captain’s taut body as he shifted, his normally impassive features twisted in something indescribable.  It was a beautiful torment to feel the captain moving yet be unable to touch him, to drag him down and under him like he wanted so badly.  The effort it took not to thrust up like he desired had Eren sinking teeth into his lip.

Another stern smack startled Eren into realizing his mistake, though he was helpless to stop a shudder as he thickened inside Levi.  “Oi! You trying to kill us all, brat?” 

If he broke these chains he could fuck him so deep... Eren swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus, not to ruin this before it started.  “Sorry-sorry.  I wouldn’t… I don’t think, just this.  This is perfect.”  Eren knew he was babbling, but also didn’t want to risk Levi leaving.  He never wanted the captain to leave.  Eren didn’t even need to come, he would just spend the rest of his life in this blissful torment, buried deep inside Humanity’s Strongest soldier.  He didn’t care how selfish it was, this was all he ever needed.

It seemed the captain wasn’t feeling the same way, as the harsh edge of impatience colored his scent.   Short nails carved into his chest before a low growl reverberated in that glistening body above him.  He was still groaning when Levi tightened up and leaned down over the bound alpha. 

***

“Go on, Yeager. Bite.” Levi whispered into his ear.

“It's Eren.”

Fucking brats.  “Eren, then.” Levi was still reeling that he was really doing this yet determined to follow through on his promises.  He presented his throat, shoulders tense against the coming pain.   But instead of the sharp burn of teeth he had expected, a distressed sound issued sharply from the lips beneath his throat.

What was his fucking problem?!  He had to bond to stop the damn rut.  Did the kid have no sense of self-preservation?  “If you think playing hard to get is going to—”

“I’m not!  It’s just… you’re not—” Eren seemed frustrated trying to find the words, “just let me loose, I can touch you… make you feel…”

Of fucking course… Dumb animal that he was, Yeager was throwing a fit because Levi didn’t smell receptive.

Levi wanted snap at the kid for being such a greedy little shit.  Most alphas did not have a mate for their first rut.  They would have killed to have a clutching body to massage their virgin dick in the most pleasurable way possible.  Yeager apparently expected him to like it too.

The captain groaned in frustration, tightening up on the impossibly thick flesh buried deep within him.  He winced with the movement, a throbbing ache echoing in his guts as his body clutched the alpha inside.  Levi could admit that he really should have prepared himself better for it. 

He’d been too proud.  It was fucking humiliating stretching himself out, coating himself with artificial slick.  It had also been the only option.  He was too early in the detox to make any of his own, and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to.  Unfortunately, the kid was actually pretty big, and he’d not used nearly enough lube to get it in.  As a result, it ached every time he moved his hips.

He knew the brat was trying to be good, showed much more restraint than he would have ever thought possible from a young alpha.  He wanted his omega mate to enjoy it, to feel the same pleasure he was feeling.  Sweet, but dumb.  It was just his luck that the kid just had to show some control when it would for once be ideal for him to behave like any other stupid beast.

Despite his lingering irritation, Levi tried to be understanding. Eren was controlling himself, and generally he liked to encourage that.  Of course, that didn’t stop him from slapping the brat upside the head before he tightened up and dragged himself up that viciously red cock.  He only dropped back down again when Yeager was sounding sufficiently contrite.  “Stop being such a pain in my ass, brat.  I told you I’d have you, don’t overthink things above your paygrade.”

Yeager must have liked the feeling, as a sudden buck upward had Levi swallowing a sound that he would take to his grave. That cheeky little shit…  Levi narrowed his eyes at the beast below him and made sure to raise up a little more so Yeager couldn’t get as deep without his say so.  The brat most certainly didn’t like that and tugged impatiently at the chains.  “Settle down,” the captain snapped, cutting off that bit of attitude with another firm hit to his sweaty flanks.

“Sorry, sorry.  Please, Captain,” Yeager growled between his teeth; its markedly deeper register surprising Levi a bit.  The strain in that voice was obvious, but so was the pleasure.

He knew it was the kid’s first time and he wanted him to enjoy being with an omega even if it couldn’t be some romantic fantasy.  It may have been uncomfortable, but Levi would show him a good time regardless, just as long as he behaved.  His body may not be omega enough to appreciate it, but he knew what alphas liked, and he could most certainly overwhelm a baby alpha on his first fuck.

Levi braced a hand on Yeager’s broad chest, then applied a little more of that wretched slick behind him.  The kid couldn’t see, but it definitely felt better as the burn was less, letting Levi breathe a little easier as he pulled back up that cock.  “There we are,” the captain sighed, leaning to loom more over the young alpha gazing worshipfully upward.

Eren seemed plenty engrossed as Levi began to work himself up and down in a rhythm, tightening his muscles hard as he bottomed out.  It was strangely satisfying to hear Yeager’s strangled sounds of pleasure as he thrust futility upward.  He knew if the little brat hadn’t been restrained he would be clutching his rocking hips, trying to fuck Levi with everything he had. As it was the greedy punk had to lie there and take what Levi gave him. 

As his body adjusted it was much easier to move.  While not necessarily pleasurable, Levi could tolerate the burning stretch and fullness that felt intensely intimate.  He could feel Yeager throbbing inside him, eagerly squirming as his rutting instincts demanded that he mount and claim the omega above him.  There was a perverse sort of enjoyment to be had in being desired like this, knowing that the kid would ravage him if he could.

Wet and relaxed as he was Levi set himself to working the eager little alpha over and watched Yeager go wild beneath him.  The poor kid was a mess.  He growled low and constant as Levi spoiled him with the increasingly violent fucking.

“There’s a good boy.  Seems like you’re enjoying yourself,” Levi mused, his voice a shredded drawl as he rode the strong body beneath him.  Yeager really had developed in the time he’d known him.  The kid had never been a quitter, but the physique he’d crafted over time was quite impressive.  It was hard not to appreciate that body when it was trapped between his thighs, his short nails raking ponderously across the rigid abs flexing before him.

Yeager was practically nonverbal now, just a growling ball of instincts with a hard on.  It was too bad it was a waste of time to mock the kid when he had probably forgotten his own name.  He doubted he’d be hearing any more bond related protests now. 

“Feeling more cooperative?” Levi inquired lowly, leaning down to bring his throat closer. 

He jolted back when Yeager’s teeth snapped inches from him.

“ _Shit!_ ”

Levi’s heart beat so hard he found himself shaking with the sudden adrenaline, his gaze forcibly locked onto Eren’s sharp teeth.  Fucking shit.  He drew a trembling hand through his hair as focused on steadying his breaths.  The kid wasn’t a titan now, there was no reason to panic.  Levi knew he used those teeth safely all the time, but rationality had little to do with what he was feeling. 

The captain willed himself to calm, feeling the heaving body below him shiver under his touch.  Fuck.  It was hard to fight a lifetime of conditioning.  He’d spent so much time avoiding this moment.  And yet here he was going down easy for a set of pretty eyes.  Disgustingly ironic.

“Levi?”  It was those big green eyes again, and they looked ravenous but also confused.  No doubt the alpha in the kid didn’t understand his sudden withdrawal.  It helped Levi to focus on that gaze; how guileless it was even in rut. 

Nothing would change. He would still be his captain, and Yeager would be the brat whose leash he reluctantly held.  This wasn’t about him.  He was doing this to save the kid from an eventual devolution that would have him put down.  He was doing this for the people they could save with Eren’s help.  This wasn’t just what he needed, it was what was best for humanity. 

They wouldn’t even have to acknowledge each other after this.  Levi may not be able to go back to his suppressants, but he could always lock himself up for his cycle like he had back in the old days.  It was hell, but plenty endured it all the time, and he sure as shit wasn’t weaker than them. 

It would be fine.  Probably.

It was all he could do.  Yeager needed him.

Levi focused on that single purpose, and once again leaned in to offer himself to the kid.  This time the pain was immediate.  His nails dug into the taut flesh below him as those sharp teeth sank in deep.  It hurt so much more than he was expecting, Levi couldn’t even think past it.  “ _Fuuuck_ ,” he hissed between his teeth, shocked at the way the scorching heat traveled.  The agony buckled his knees, vibrating through his brain to violate every part of him. 

It took everything in him for Levi to stay still and keep the damage to a minimum.  Ripping him off could fucking paralyze him, but that seemed preferable to this.  He was about to take the risk when in a sudden flash something flickered bright inside him.  That spark spread like ink in water from his throat all throughout his body.  He reeled from the ardor of this sunlight trapped under his flesh, stretching his skin, and making him pant with its fierce carnality.  It wasn’t an orgasm, but it was pleasure none the less.  He felt it as something in him shifted; changed irreparably.  He wasn’t certain if it was fixed or broken. 

Beyond his conscious will Levi went still as he was overwhelmed by an impossible feeling.  He began to shake; unable to stop the tears that rolled silently down his cheeks.  It was a sensation so strange, so wholly unfamiliar that at first, he didn’t recognize it at all. 

Everything felt right in the world.

It was… terrifying.

This baseless wellbeing invaded every part of him, and Levi couldn’t even rally the strength to fight.

But before he knew it the connection calmed, leaving him wrung out in its wake.  Too disoriented to move, Levi only gradually became aware of Yeager’s teeth leaving his throat.  He gasped shuddering breaths against the neck beneath him, still shaking with the force those emotions.  This was so much different than anything he had been told.  So much more.

That disconcerting link nagged at the back of his mind and it filled him with unease.  Like comfort from unfamiliar hands, he didn’t know how to take it.  His first impulse was to pull away, to rip it out before it infected him further.  But he couldn’t do that, it was a part of him now.

There was an awareness there that felt… it felt like Yeager.  Warm and eager; it whispered of fondness, pleasure… protection.  It was a trap, and Levi was ready to gnaw his own arm off to get away. 

When he jolted upward Levi immediately came to regret it.  An ache throbbed all the way through his guts as his body reminded him of the vigorous activity it had just engaged in.  Without the full force of the bond or a sense of duty shoring him up the captain was left in an immense amount of pain. 

He pulled off Yeager with a groan, swearing out loud as he felt unimaginable filth began to leak down the back of his legs.  Levi wasn’t sure he would ever get over that feeling.  A bath did not seem like enough for this.

It was only as he stood on coltish legs beside the bed to catch his breath that he noticed the wetness at his neck.  He grimaced at the amount of blood running down his chest before he grabbed a cloth nearby the bedside to staunch the flow.  At least it barely hurt in the wash of generalized agony.

He was tempted to hit Yeager again because once more the little shit was the nexus of his misfortunes.  Fortunately for everyone involved, he looked up to find the kid passed out, just like he did after a long transformation.

It was a small mercy.   At the very least it gave Levi some time to gather his clothes and get the fuck out of there.  His dignity was obviously a lost cause.


	5. Chapter 5

Eren woke up exhausted yet feeling better than he had in ages, but strangely... empty.  He didn’t understand how he could feel so connected, but at the same time as if something was missing.

“Eren?”

He been so absorbed in this bizarre feeling that Armin’s voice startled him.  For a brief, terrifying moment he feared that his friend was the reason he had settled.  But no… Armin was not the shape of the void within him.  The memories came back to him in pieces, though what he recalled gave him little comfort. 

He’d bonded Levi.  On instinct his gaze sought out his new mate.  Eren frowned when the captain was nowhere to be seen.  He couldn’t even smell him.

Disinfectant and lemon lingered strong enough in the air to make his eyes water.  It was like the man was never there.  He would have thought it was all a fever dream if he didn’t look past Armin and Mikasa to see Hange waving at him.  It was obvious Levi had abandoned him.

It hurt. 

He could feel expectant eyes on him, too gentle for his comfort.  “Hi,” Eren greeted.  His voice was rough, but he kept it from breaking.

Armin looked so relieved to see him that Eren couldn’t help feeling guilty.  He should have tried to get more messages out to his friends.  He knew they’d contacted Armin about the… issue.  His friend had even agreed to bond with him as a worst-case scenario.  As grateful as he would have been that Armin cared so much, he would have rather gone mad than mate his friend while he loved someone else.  There was no way they would recover from that.  

Mikasa didn’t look much better, though she wasn’t showy about it.  He couldn’t help avoiding her gaze.

“How are you feeling?” Armin asked with a watery smile.  The easy affection should have heartened him, but somehow it only reminded him of how bereft he felt without his mate. 

Levi.

When tears welled up Eren tried desperately to hide them, but it was already to late to dam the outpouring of frustrated emotion.

It set Armin to panicking, and Eren tried to calm him even as he struggled to wipe his eyes.  Damn it.  He drew several shuddering breaths into his lungs, trying to focus past prickling barrier on the other side of the bond.  He’d felt that perfect, shinning connection for one brief moment before it sputtered out.  Now he felt stretched thin and hopelessly empty with the knowledge of all that he was missing.  Lingering below his consciousness was a persistent desolation that felt like rejection.  He knew Levi was out there, he could feel that much.  It was just clear he didn’t want him.

“Sorry, sorry…. I’m fine, Armin.  Really.  It’s just a lot right now.  I just bonded and am having trouble… adjusting.”

Neither of his friends looked comforted, but as always Armin was the first to try and figure things out. “Where is your mate?  It’s typical for freshly bonded pairs to spend up to a week in constant proximity while the bond settles.  How could they—”

“They’re very busy, I guess.  I can’t ask them to put everything on hold just because they bonded to me.  I needed it, they were helping me.”

“Even so, it’s supposed to be painful to be separated so early.  Who are they?  Even officers get time off if they bond.  They can’t just leave you.”

“Enough, Armin,” Mikasa’s face betrayed nothing, but her voice was firm.  Eren could feel her gaze roaming his features, quietly searching.  “If he hadn’t bonded someone he was going to die.  He’s alive and sane, that's what matters.  You’re just upsetting him.”

He felt bad because he knew of all people Mikasa had to be taking his situation the hardest. She’d been on a mission when he'd presented.  By the time they’d had him in the cell he’d been running mostly on instinct. He’d been fine when Hanse, Captain Levi, and even Armin visited.  But Mikasa… he wouldn’t forget the broken look in her eyes when he snarled at her like an animal. 

He’d never thought much of Mikasa being an alpha, it hadn’t even mattered before.  They’d been friends since they were children.  She’d always been there, and he knew she cared about him regardless of their respective orientations.  But deep in rut it was only instinct that mattered, and when she’d approached he’d seen her only as an enemy.

Eren was still too ashamed to meet her eyes.

He wanted to reassure his friends, but it was hard when he could barely comfort himself.  He knew Levi was a busy man.  He didn’t doubt his rut had put the other’s schedule off.  Even so, his absence didn’t sit right with him.  The captain couldn’t have been feeling well himself.  The mating had been significantly less taxing on his body, and Eren still felt frayed at the seams.  Levi shouldn’t just go back to work after all of this, of all people Humanity’s Strongest should be able to take a break.

“It’s alright Armin.  I’m sure they’ll be available soon.”  Levi could really be busy.  He felt things through the bond, but maybe the captain was just as confused.  When he realized how wrong it felt he might come back.  Eren was just being impulsive like he always was, he’d give it time.  They were bonded; there was no way he could stay away for long.

Eren was grateful when Hange interrupted Armin’s too thoughtful pause.  “You’re free to go now, Eren. Unless you need some tests! Are you feeling well?  No post rut troubles?” The squad leader’s over eager voice gave him something else to focus on and Eren accepted the distraction gladly.

“No, I'm fine. It's over. I was afraid it would last longer, but it seemed to have ended right after the bond.”

“Oh! That’s normal. It takes a lot out of a system to form an attachment like that, and since it was your first rut it’s rarely meant to be ‘productive’ if you know what I mean." Eren actually managed a smile at the saucy eyebrow wiggle, even if his cheeks went hot at the words. “Next time it will be longer. But fortunately, we should all be more prepared by then. Having a mate already will make it much easier.”

Despite his lingering distress at the captain’s absence, Eren found himself intrigued at the concept.  His night with Levi had felt like an out of body experience.  He’d been too lost in the rut to really enjoy it.  Even now his memory was hazy on the details of the encounter.  Though the thought of going through it again conscious of himself and with the captain as his partner...  It would be different then.  He wouldn’t be just lying there while Levi did all the work.  This time he’d get to touch him, kiss him, make him feel good.  It felt like an opportunity wasted.  But next time…  Next time would be better.

“Make sure you report back in tomorrow for your check up!”

Eren nodded, even if he didn’t relish the idea of Hange’s prodding when he was still feeling so unsteady.  Still, there was no avoiding it. “I will.”

An arm around his shoulders startled him, but Eren forced himself to settle under Armin’s touch.  He needed to get it together.  Just because it wasn’t Levi didn’t mean he couldn’t accept it.  The sooner he adjusted back to the way of things, the better off he’d be.  “Let’s go, Eren.  We can get some food and you can tell us a bit more.”

Eren nodded in response, but his mind was still far away on the next time he could met up with Levi.  Standing mechanically, he was thankful someone had taken the time to clean him up and at least get some pants on him.

After pulling on a shirt he followed Mikasa out of the cell, his eyes briefly meeting with Hange as she held a finger to her lips.  Eren pursed his own but nodded. 

He knew he wasn’t supposed to tell them about mating to Levi.  Considering the captain had been living as a beta all this time it was no surprise he planned to keep it hidden.  That didn’t mean it sat well with Eren.  He just knew it wasn’t his decision to make.

***

“You know newly mated officers get one week off for leave.”

Of course it was Hange, why wouldn’t it be?  Levi couldn’t even muster up the energy to snap at her as she loomed in the doorway like an overeager puppy. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t been avoiding her, along with other parties he didn’t care to mention.  “And just how would I explain taking a week off at the same time the brat was back in action?”

“The centuries of vacation time you have accumulated, perhaps?  You know there’s dedication to your work, and then there’s just being boring.”

“I won’t be lectured on taking time off by a pervert who tortures titans on their off time,” Levi drawled from over the stack of paperwork he was forcing himself to review.  It was mostly reports on their excursions and requests for resupply. It was tedious, but at least it did something to distract him from the nagging pain that had been plaguing him all day. 

It had taken him more time than he had expected to get himself together after the bond.  A scalding bath had helped, but likely the night spent on the roof just observing the sky had done more than anything.  Looking up you couldn’t see the walls.

He was different now, he could feel it.  He’d expected the consequences physically and he could deal with them just fine.  The other things were what nagged at him.  He could sense the connection between himself and Yeager.  Echoes of unfamiliar feelings resonated down the line, feeding his own restlessness.  It ached in his mind, and he has no idea what to do with it.  Focusing beyond Yeager’s absence was taking an obscene amount of his concentration.

“Being obstinate is not doing anything for the state of your body.  For a newly mated man, you look like shit.”

“That’s funny, because I feel like it too.  I thought this bonding thing was supposed to cure all ills?  So far it doesn’t seem much different from the suppressant side effects, except now my ass hurts too.”

Hange had the audacity to laugh, and Levi was in a poor enough mood to make something of it if the mad scientist hadn’t chosen that moment to pass over some pills and a tin of Earl Grey.  “That would be the bond sickness.  Some stubborn goat you might know is all holed up in his office instead of having a snuggle with the very distressed baby alpha looking for him.”

Levi’s frown deepened further as he swallowed the pills dry and chased it with some of his cold tea when he nearly gagged at the taste.  It seemed some sort of contest to make that medicine as fucking disgusting as possible.  “Making shit up is not going to make me change my mind.”

“Bond sickness is a real thing.  It’s not common, since most people aren’t as pigheaded as you.  Your body wants the connection.  It’s also trying to return to equilibrium, which the bond accelerates.  You are rejecting it, which is causing stress on your body.  The more you fight the bond, the more drained your liable to feel.  Eventually it’s going to win, so I’m not sure what you hope to gain from digging your heels in like this.”

The paperwork was a lost cause, he couldn’t fucking concentrate anymore.  “So what, I’m supposed to just roll over and be the love toy to some kid, all while trying to keep my cover and just do my damn job?”

“You don’t have to go that far, just not wholly rejecting it might help.  No matter what your body’s changing.  Sooner rather than later you’ll also be going into heat—”

“Wait, what now?  I’ve been fucked up on suppressants for years, how could that shit start again so soon?  I’d have thought all that was scrambled by now.”  Those things had him bleeding from his pores some weeks, it seemed ridiculous that he’d be fertile after all that.

“Suppressants aside, you’re a remarkably healthy omega at the peak of sexual maturity.  You are also mated to a virile young alpha perfect for making short, angry babies.”

“That isn’t happening.”  Levi was in no mood for this nonsense.  The situation just seemed to get more fucked up every time he turned his back.  He was supposedly being crippled by suppressants, so he gets off them and bonds a dumb kid, and now apparently that was no help at all.  Now he’s expected to deal with another goddamn heat?  You’d think the universe would have gotten tired of fucking him over by now.

“You’ll be getting the itch.  You’re sick now, so you probably haven’t noticed, but your scent is changing.  Those funny feelings will be back in force soon enough.  You’ll appreciate your eager young paramour then.  But that’s not a problem, I happen to have some birth control medications—”

“Get out,” Levi’s voice stayed low, but he was all out of patience for this conversation.

“Oh, come now, it’ll be fun!”

“I won’t say it again.” 

“Sorry, sorry! Anyway, I didn’t come over here just to see your grumpy face.  You’re due for your post-bond check up.  Now don’t be shy, let me get a look at that bite.”

Levi instinctively pulled away from the hands reaching for him. “I’m fine.  I dressed it myself, as you can see.”

“What I see is an obstinate man who who's trying to hide something.  Come on! I’ve never seen a bond bite from a titan shifter. This is a unique opportunity.  There are no bonded titans on record.  You’ll spend more time kicking me out than showing me.”

It was frustrating, but he couldn't deny it was true.  Hange wasn’t likely to give up when scientific advancement was involved.  He knew post-bond check ups were normal, after all there was nothing all that special about the bite itself.  It could get infected like anything else.  Though reason didn’t stop it from feeling invasive as fuck.

Levi knew it was odd how reluctant he felt about all this. Hange poked and prodded them all the time.  Even if he didn’t like it he was damn well used to it by now.  Why did the bond bite feel different?

Before he changed his mind Levi reached back to rip off the gauze.  It had bled like hell at first, but now it seemed to have staggered off.  Small miracle considering what he’d managed to glimpse in the mirror.  It was a lucky thing he liked the look of a cravat, because he would need one to cover such an ugly mess. 

His first cue something was off was Hange's silence.  Levi dared to glance over his shoulder to see her eyes alight with glee.  “Have you seen it? It-it’s so beautiful! Oh, that is deep.  He must really like you.”

“Well enough to stick his dick in me.”

“No, I mean did you _really_ see it?”

He was way too tired for this. “He made a bloody mess, what's to see?”

Hange was grinning from ear to ear as she ran off only to return with a med kit.  Despite himself Levi allowed the uncharacteristically gentle swipes of the wet cloth over the bite.  There was a tingling at the contact.  He was still surprised it didn’t hurt that much anymore.  From what he’d seen it hadn’t looked all that clean.

“It's deep.  Usually common with very possessive people, but that's not what's so fascinating about it… the bite profile.  People leave very distinct impressions when they bite into something.  The depth, tooth placement, all of that is unique.  I’ve taken impressions of Eren's teeth.  This looks different.  There are too many, and the placement… it's like you were bitten by his titan form.”

“What? That’s fucking ridiculous. How would that even be possible?”

“I don’t know! Isn’t it wonderful? There are so many things to learn.  There must be something about bonding as a shifter.  Oh, I should have been there… damn.  What I might have missed! Hey, did he seem any bigger to you?” The saucy wink was the last straw.

“That's it! Get out! I'm done with your prodding. If you want to torment someone find the brat and bother him.”

Thankfully Hange took the hint, though running her out did little make him feel any better.

He felt hollowed out, empty in a way he most associated with a mission gone wrong.  Not understanding it didn’t stop feeling from raking at him as he stood woodenly to make himself another cup of tea.  Bond sickness sounded like some fake illness to justify the conservative beliefs of bond fanatics.  And yet here he was about ready to fucking puke again because he was dizzy from fighting the need to seek the stupid brat out.  He hated being this unsteady.  It was like he was missing something and wouldn’t be right without it. 

Levi knew he couldn’t do this forever, but what other choice was there?

***

It had been nearly a week and Eren couldn’t get the captain alone even once.  At first he’d thought it was just bad luck, or poor timing, but by now he was certain that Levi was actively avoiding him.  The few times he glimpsed the man was in a crowd of other officers, or training recruits while Eren attended other duties.  He’d tried running out to him, but by the time he’d managed to excuse himself Levi was always long gone.

Eren was getting tired of failing.

It was clear the captain wasn’t going to be the one to close the gap between them.  He wasn’t sure why it was like this, or what he could do to about it, but nothing would change unless he did something.  Eren understood that what they’d done before was… intense.  It was more than he had ever dreamed of having with the captain, but now that he’d had a taste of that connection he couldn’t go back to the way things had been. 

He didn’t fault Levi his reluctance, after all he knew the man still saw Eren as a kid.  But he was wrong.  Eren was a man.  He may have grown up beside Levi, worshipped and idolized him like many had, but he’d never seen the captain as a father figure. 

He knew Levi was as human as anyone else, probably more so than most.  The captain felt deeply, even if he was strong enough to operate beyond the pain.  He was ruthless, vicious, unstoppable when the situation called for it, but that didn’t mean he took life lightly.  Honestly, Eren had been half in love with him before he’d even met the man but knowing him for all his flaws and fickle nature had only reinforced those feelings.

Levi had seen past the monster in him to find something of merit.  He’d sworn to kill him if it came to that.  It horrified others like Mikasa, but Eren had always found a comfort in that fact.  The captain was willing to save him even from himself.  And by now he knew it would break the man a little bit inside to do it, but he wouldn’t let Eren become that thing that he despised.  He cared enough to shatter for him.  The captain wasn’t showy about it, but he knew he felt for Eren in his way.  He wouldn’t have been able to bond with him if he didn’t.

Through the link he had felt fear and anger, but also timid, flickering affection from time to time.  He didn’t know how he could tell, but he was constantly aware of Levi at the edges of his consciousness.  His head would throb with a migraine if he stretched that awareness too far, but it was always there waiting for him.  It wasn’t a bond you could deny, and he was tired of this pointless distance between them.

He knew what they had could be so much more.  Eren couldn’t remember all of their bonding, but he knew it had felt good.  The sight of Levi sat astride him, nude and glistening with sweat still had the power to make him ache.  His rut might have passed, but that didn’t keep Eren from having needs, from wondering if Levi felt the same and if he wanted to try again.  What fractured memories he had accompanied him too many lonely nights without his bonded. 

It drove him to distraction.

Though in the end he just wanted this silence to end.  Eren may have failed to captivate Levi in the moment of their bonding, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up.  He’d never been too proud to ask others for help, and with some assistance he’d found a way to finally get Levi to talk to him. 

He knew Levi liked Hange, his tolerance for her despite her peculiarities said it all.  It wasn’t elegant, but he’d asked the squad leader to set up a meeting for them.  It hadn’t taken much convincing, but if he looked even half so desperate as he felt, it was no surprise.

Hange had arranged for Levi to join her for tea so they could discuss the next expedition.  As soon as Levi was sufficiently settled Hange would excuse herself and Eren would take her place at the table.  Clumsy though it may have been, luring the captain there on false pretenses seemed the only way to get Levi anywhere near him at the moment. 

He knew the man was stubborn but Eren didn’t know how he endured this pain alone.  Every moment felt a little bit less without the captain around, diminished by loneliness.  This conspicuous absence was driving him mad, and finally Eren was going to do something about it. 

He was on edge the whole time he was waiting for the time Hange had set.  Levi was typically punctual, but the two had to get comfortable.  If he showed up too soon, everything could be ruined.  He had to wait for Levi to get settled, have some tea, and relax enough that he would be reluctant to just abruptly leave the scene.

An eternity seemed to pass before the time came for Eren to finally make his appearance.   Too impatient steps carried him into the hall outside of Hange’s office.  Officers were passing by, but no one commented on his presence since the titan shifter spent so much time as Hange’s lab rat.  For once he was glad of the easy dismissal because no one bothered to greet him and cause a commotion.

He’d felt it before, but it was amazing how the ache that had been tormenting him this past week seemed to ease just being close to the captain.  Faintly through the door he could hear the low register of Levi’s voice and it made his limbs ache with the desire to seek it out. 

Eren breathed deep as he approached Hange’s door, his hands unsteady with anticipation.  Even through the door Levi smelled so good… had he always smelled so nice?  It wasn’t even something he could describe; it was more of a sensation.  It felt like being praised, killing a titan, or transforming.  Comfort, triumph, freedom… It was a good feeling.  The best.

Before he lost his nerve Eren turned the knob and strode in.  It was only for an instant that he was able to observe Levi looking loose and relaxed as he listened to an animated Hange before the moment shattered as the captain saw him there.  His heart stuttered painfully when the older man’s gaze cooled as it landed on him.  Did Levi not feel the same relief when Eren was around?  Did he really hate him so much?

He hadn’t realized he’d been standing stricken by that rejection until Hange stood up abruptly and grabbed him by the shoulders.  “Eren!  Good to see you!  What was that? the new titan capture needs an injection?  I’m on it.  No, don’t get up!”

Hange was just about the only person that could get away with pushing Levi back into his chair like that.  She did it with a casual surety that seemed to have Levi reeling as he frowned upon the scene.  For his part Eren could only be embarrassingly grateful for the scientist’s reckless aid.

Before he knew it Eren was sitting in Hange’s old chair with a cup in hand while Levi glared darkly at the rapidly retreating Hange.  He might have winced at how obvious a set up it was, but he’d worked too hard to give up now.

“That shitty glasses—” Levi swore. He started to rise again, only to be interrupted by Eren's hasty grasp on his wrist.  The harsh grey of Levi’s gaze made Eren pull his hand away, but at least the captain wasn’t leaving anymore.

“Please, Captain… I… we have to talk.”

Eren endured long moments under that pitiless gaze before Levi seemed to decide something and settled back into his chair.  It wasn’t acceptance, but he seemed to at least be willing to hear him out.  The titan shifter was smart enough to take what he could get.

Of course now that he had him here Eren could hardly organize his thoughts.  They hadn’t been in direct contact for a week now, he’d been wondering what the captain was thinking, if his body was okay, if he missed him…

It felt stupid, childish even as he thought it, but it didn’t prevent him from hungrily devouring sight of the captain so near.  As always his undercut made him look severe, but dashing.  Though he didn’t look like he had proper rest.  Maybe he was feeling lonely too?

A wrinkle that Eren had always found charming gathered between Levi’s graceful brows.  It made Eren smile like an idiot before he saw Levi rising again, “if you’re not going to say anything—”

“Wait!  No, I’m sorry! How are you?  Are you okay?  I missed you… you smell good.  Are you feeling any better?”

“Quit that fucking babble.  If that’s all you wanted to say—”

“Please!” Eren hadn’t meant to shout, not did he want his voice to break as clutched the small table between them.  He just… didn’t want the captain to leave.  His heart was already frantic at the thought of Levi abandoning him again, but he didn’t know how to make the other stay.  Or even why he wanted to in the first place. 

But to his surprise when he looked up, shoulders braced for loss, he found Levi staring right back at him.  The captain was sipping at a full cup again, and Eren hated how he wanted to cry just at the hint of familiarity.

“Why… why are you avoiding me?” Even as he said it Eren began to have regrets.  What if that was too confrontational? 

A sigh seemed to stir Levi’s whole body, but he didn’t leave.  “Kid, whatever you’re looking for, I’m not it.”

Eren didn’t understand, he’d been following Levi around all week.  What he could find of him anyway.  He ached to be around the man, constantly it seemed.  How did Levi not feel the bond too? “I don’t understand.  Captain, I—”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this.  You’re a young alpha brat, you should be having the time of your life about now instead of bothering old guys like me.”

“But I like you, Captain.”

“You don’t even know me.”  Eren didn’t like the grim finality to that.  Like it had always been that way, like it wouldn’t change.

“I know how you like your tea!  I know you actually like sweets, though you usually turn them down.  I know you go outside to see the sky when no one’s around, that you always cut up your food before you eat—”

“That’s not what I mean, brat.  You don’t know where I’ve been, or what I’ve done.  You may think that breeching the wall fucked the world up, but trust me, it was shit before you were ever even born.  You’re like a dumb duckling that imprints on the first thing they see.  I took responsibility for you after you changed, and yeah we fucked to fix you up a bit ago, but we don’t know each other.”

He didn’t know what to do.  It felt like the floor was crumbling beneath him and he was trying desperately to stay upright.  Levi didn’t understand, it was more than that, but he wasn’t listening.  Wasn’t even willing to try.  “But… you’re my mate.”

Levi rolled his eyes and Eren felt his stomach sink.  “And what the fuck does that mean?  Nothing but stupid bodies and pheromone dependence.  It doesn’t mean that we’re lovers, it doesn’t mean we even like each other.  It means we fucked and you bit me, that’s it.”  Eren didn’t know if he looked as devastated as he felt, but he must have seemed rather pathetic if Levi turned away like he did.

“Look, brat...  It’s not about you.  Bonding doesn’t mean your life is a dead end to me.  You can find yourself someone else to crush with your affection.  We bonded because it was the only thing to save your life.  It might be weird at first, but once your body gets over it I’m sure you won’t know the difference.”

“That’s not true, Captain, I’ve always liked you.  Even as a kid I looked up to you, you’re Humanity’s Strongest.  You saved me, so many times.  How can you think just someone else would be the same?”

“Get around a bit and I’m sure you’ll find that there’s nothing special about what happened then.  You’re okay for a brat, I’m sure you’ll find some omega your own age who is plenty eager to show you the ropes.  There’s no reason they have to know you’re bonded.”

It was wrong. It was all wrong, and Eren didn’t know how to fix it.  Levi didn’t seem to want anything to do with him, but he knew like he wouldn’t be right without him.  “No!  I want you.”

A dark look settled on Levi’s slim brows. “Well I’m not a thing for shitty brats to have.  I saved you from being put down.  If you want a boyfriend, go bother one of the other kids.”  Without waiting for a reply Levi finished his tea and rose from his chair. This time Eren knew better than to try to stop him, not with the way the captain was watching him.  “If you’ve got so much free time, I suggest you take a shower, you stink.”

Eren didn’t let himself flinch at the frigid tone, and just focused on holding Levi’s gaze, willing him to feel his conviction.  “I’m not giving up, Captain.”

Levi clicked his tongue before he turned back to the door.  “Then you’re dumber than you look, brat.”

Captain Levi wasn't the only one that was stubborn.  Eren wasn’t going to let this go.  Their talk may not have gone how he had hoped, but what he'd heard hadn’t been rejection.  Levi didn’t say he didn’t want Eren, or even that he didn’t like him.  He said Eren deserved better than him.  But he was wrong, Captain Levi was exactly what he needed.  They were more alike than Levi wanted to admit.  He wasn’t innocent or fragile and he didn’t need Levi’s dismissive manner of protection.  If the captain was scared of his feelings that was one thing, but Eren was not going to let all that they could have dissolve for fear.

Eren had a chance, he would just have to work for it.  After all, Levi didn’t tell him not to try.  It may not have been much, but Eren would consider it a start.

He could do this, he just had to prove it to Levi.


	6. Chapter 6

“Armin, what do omegas like in bed?”

The blonde appeared to choke on air, coughing and sputtering as he struggled to catch his breath. “W-what? What we like?”

“Well, I don’t know any other omegas, and you’re with Jean… I don’t need any details, just any advice would help…”

“Jean and I, I mean, we…”  Armin was red to the tips of his ears.  Eren waited impatiently as the blonde took a hasty sip of his drink.  That scattered fumbling only lasted until he seemed to come to some realization, “oh.  This is about your mate, isn’t it?”

“Our first night may not have been all that… satisfying for them.  I just want them to give me a chance.  I know it’s not everything, but if I can make them feel good…”  Eren tried not to feel frustrated explaining it, but it was hard as he recalled the conversation with Levi.  He knew he still had a lot of work to do before the captain was likely to let him touch him, but when the chance came he didn’t plan to waste it again.  “They said I should find someone else.”  The last was almost a whisper as Eren looked past his friend to the empty officer’s table.

Armin sighed, though Eren was surprised by the gentle nudge of an elbow.  “It's Captain Levi, isn't it?”

Alarm shot through him, but with it came an embarrassing sense of relief. Armin was smart, they’d probably anticipated that he would figure it out. He didn’t realize until now how the weight of trying to keep it a secret had been eating at him.  Eren had never been terribly self contained.  He wasn’t used to dealing with things like this alone.  His friends had stood at his side and they’d relied on each other.  The situation being what it was, he needed their help more than ever.  Armin made all the plans, he’d even been aware of Eren’s titan abilities before he’d understood them himself.   He had to have some insight into this problem.  Eren knew he couldn’t be seeing everything.

He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them.  Fortunately, their conversation seemed of little interest to the crowd.  Eren took a few nervous bites of bread before nodding, “yeah.”  Though his relief at that confession fled quickly as another thought occurred to him, “It isn’t…obvious is it?”

Armin actually smiled, head shaking an amused denial. “No, not that anyone else would notice.  You watch the Captain a lot, but that’s all pretty normal.  He took responsibility for you, after all.”

The tension bled slowly from his shoulders.  “Oh… good.  It’s just that no one is supposed to know.  I just don’t understand though… I thought a bond—” Eren frowned, his gaze unfocused as he felt for the other's presence through the bond. It was distant, but there.  “I thought it would be different.  The way they make it sound, it’s like you need each other.  But he doesn’t seem to want me at all.  I know I’m just a dumb kid to him, but he won’t even give me a chance.”

Armin chewed thoughtfully for a moment, watching Eren listlessly push around the chunky bits in his stew. “Well, I will admit I’m not all that surprised.  It’s not you, it’s just clear the captain tries to avoid getting too invested in anyone.  Honestly, I always had the impression he wasn’t interested in that kind of thing.  He had this sort of neutral scent.”

“What? The captain smells… he is… great. I mean, different lately but—”

“It’s just because I presented before you I noticed a difference.  When I ran into the captain after I presented he smelled like a beta but harsher, you know? It was heavy and almost too flowery.  It’s hard to describe, but after mating to you he definitely smells different now.  It’s softer, more natural.”

Eren thought about it for a moment, “he does smell different from my rut.  Then, I swear, it was so good… definitely omega; heavy and mature.  Still seemed a little off, but not like you.  Something…”

“You know when I presented as an omega they offered me an option.  They had birth control and something called suppressants.  They’re only typically available to omegas in the military, but they suppress all omega traits, allowing someone to essentially live as a beta.  I just took the birth control and the emergency heat suppressors.  The side effects for the suppressants were… extensive.  I’m of course only able to speculate, but I assume the captain was on those before mating to you.”

“On suppressants?” he didn’t like the sound of that, though it did make sense.  No one really knew about the captain’s orientation.  Eren most certainly didn’t before he was told that he would mate him.  He supposed it was easier not to live as an omega.  Prejudice did still exist, and for Humanity’s Strongest to be one… well, it would certainly change people’s perception.  “What sort of side effects?”

“The kind I doubt you want to know about.  But among them is greatly reduced libido and sexual dysfunction.  It might not entirely be you, is what I’m saying.  It’s clear that the captain prefers to keep others at arms length, I don’t doubt it was easier for him to live as a beta. Though to mate you he couldn’t be on them.” Armin’s gaze wandered to the wall as he thought it through aloud.  “They were talking to me about it just a couple days before you were mated.  That implies it may have been short notice that Captain Levi confirmed for the bond, which means that if he was on suppressants he would have had only about a day to get them out of his system.  I doubt the side effects could be overcome in that sort span of time.  If I’m correct, then even at that time he wasn’t fully prepared.”

It would be nice to think that it all hadn’t been purely Eren's inexperience that had caused Levi to be dissatisfied with him, but that didn’t solve the problem of the poor impression he had made.  If Armin was right and it was chemicals that had kept him for responding, they would be gone soon, and he had to do better next time.

“I'm just saying the um… sex thing.  That might not just be you.  But really, I don’t think the captain would care too much about that.  If I were you I would focus more on winning him over other ways.  Your problem is that he doesn’t want to get closer to you,” Armin offered a soft smile. “Unfortunately, that’s a lot harder to solve than the physical aspect of things.  Persistence will probably get you the farthest.  If anyone can wear him down it would be you, Eren. I’ve never known you to give up even when the situation seemed impossible.  You could be a really good mate, I'm sure.  And if Levi doesn’t give you a chance he’s really missing out.”

“Thanks, Armin.”  He’d never thought of himself as insecure, but somehow Armin’s words shored up something that had been fracturing inside him.  This thing with Levi… it had been making him doubt himself.  He didn’t blame the captain of course, but this wasn’t a hurdle he felt well equipped to handle.  Eren knew what he wanted, who he wanted, but that didn’t change the all he had left to do to even approach such an ambitious goal.  He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but they said nothing worth having ever was.

“So you’re going to keep pursuing him?” The sudden appearance of Mikasa’s voice startled him.  Eren had been so focused on his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed her approaching from behind.  He could have sworn she would still be on rounds until tonight.

“H-him--?” Eren started, eyes shifting accusingly to meet Armin’s bewildered look.

“I didn’t tell her anything.”

Mikasa nudged away a tray to sit beside him, “I found out on my own.  None of the other officers were acting differently.  You’ve always had your eye on that shorty, and he usually watches after you.  He should be more careful, his avoiding you is rather conspicuous,” the last was said with a lingering look at Eren, the disapproval clear in her voice.

“I’m working on it.”

She did not look convinced.  The bitter edge to her gaze reminded Eren abruptly of how he had been avoiding her.  He was still embarrassed about the way he’d growled at her down in the dungeons, but he knew he couldn’t keep dancing around the subject forever.  “Mikasa… about before, I wasn’t myself then.  I would never have—”

“I know, Eren,” Mikasa waved off briskly, but he could see some of the tension sink from her spine.  “I don’t blame you.  Your presentation was…bad.  I know what happened was necessary, that there wasn’t anything I could do to help.”

Armin passed Mikasa a piece of bread, his smile gently encouraging.  “It’s not your fault Mikasa.  You were gone, and no one could know that it would be so difficult.”

“If I wasn’t an alpha, I could have helped.”

Eren didn’t like the grim set of her features.  He couldn't say he didn’t have regrets in regards to his orientation, that it didn’t seem to make life unnecessarily complicated instead of easier. But he found it hard to resent it fully when it had brought he and Levi together like this.  Otherwise, he wasn’t sure he would ever have received such a chance.  “Even then, it wouldn't have done any good.”

“If I was an omega I could have bonded with you.  You wouldn't have had to endure the abandonment you’ve dealt with now.”

Armin's sudden placating gestures were what he noticed before the low rumble of his own growl.  “Now Mikasa, that’s not fair.  You know it’s more complicated than that.  Even I volunteered to bond to Eren if he needed it, but he didn’t want that.”

Forcing down the defensive anger was more of a struggle than he had been expecting, but Eren forced himself to calm.  He knew that Mikasa meant well, but he couldn’t help but wonder what it was about him that seemed to make people think they had to shelter him all the time.  How strong would he have to become before others stopped believing that they knew what was best for him, that they needed to stop him from getting hurt?  First it was Levi's presumptions on his well being, and now Mikasa.  “I'm not a child any longer.  I don’t need or want you to protect me.  Even in that state I didn’t want someone who didn’t feel right to me,” he saw how Mikasa recoiled and breathed out a heavy sigh.  “It's not you, Mikasa, I just don’t want to live the rest of my life under the shadow of my friend's noble sacrifice.  We’re friends, and it would ruin everything to be more than that.”

“If it was for Eren, I could do it.”

Eren shrugged, “maybe for a while, but I don’t want to have to be something you endure.  I want to have more than that.  I… really like the captain, even if he’s not ready quite yet.  It might be selfish, but I want to stay with him.  Maybe you need to be a bit more selfish too.”

She didn’t necessarily look like she understood, but the silence meant that Mikasa was thinking about it.  That was all he asked.  He didn’t want her tormenting herself because she thought she could have done something more.  Her being fixated on him, unable to see past a confusion of duty and familial affection wasn’t going to get her anywhere.  Mikasa deserved more than a life like that.

“I have to go back on my rounds.”  A dull look at the clock made Eren feel anxious, but he knew there was nothing he could do for her now.  Mikasa would have to consider things on her own.

Their farewells were more tense than Eren wanted them to be, but they would all need a bit of time.  Armin lingered a little longer, but even he couldn’t stand the awkwardness indefinitely.  They would get through this just like anything else, they just needed time to adjust.

At least he didn’t have to hide the situation with Levi from them anymore.  No friendship endured well under the weight of too many secrets, and Eren knew now he’d been avoiding them both at least partially due to the pressure of it.

His contemplations were abruptly disrupted by raucous laughter as a group of new recruits came shuffling into the dining area.  One party in particular was being especially obnoxious and Eren frowned in open disapproval.  He hoped they were never that raw as recruits.  They were supposed to be soldiers, but it seemed hard to imagine these guys passing basic training.

“Lucky bastard,” lamented one of the noisy crew to the amused enjoyment of his associates.  “He gets an omega on his first rut!  It's not fucking fair. Why does that monster get an omega while rest of us make due with our own hands?”

Eren felt a growl rising in his throat.  It was clear the dumb trainees didn’t know what this ‘monster’ looked like, as he doubted any one of them would be so brave if they knew he could hear them.

Another chuckled as he broke off a piece of bread, bumping his friend in the shoulder.  “He’d probably kill us all without a bitch to fuck.  I doubt a beast like that has the kind of restraint we do.”

If only they knew how much restraint he was demonstrating not tearing into them at this very moment.  He heard a few nervous laughs and even more nervous glances darting his way from more experienced scouts, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.  These idiots were spoiling for a fight, and Eren was finding himself increasingly reluctant to deny them.

Oblivious as ever, the first leaned back in dramatic resignation.  “I know, Claude, but still… just imagine that wet whore writhing underneath them.  There are so few omegas anymore, and what they have left they’re tossing to the dogs?  I don’t see why we shouldn’t have a piece if they’re just going to waste them.  We’re in the Corps, it’s a high stress job.  I think we deserve a little comfort.  Man, what I could do with a real slut like that...”

The boom of Eren’s chair hitting the floor made the room go silent.  He was on his feet before he knew it, a deep bass growl seeming to shake the stones beneath him as he fought to contain himself.  “Don't you talk about—”

The recruit’s eyes went wide when they landed on him.  He was silent for a lingering moment before dumb pride overwhelmed good sense.  “Oh, riiiiight… that’s _your_ omega, right?  Don’t see why you can’t share, seems kinda selfish.  You know, I don’t see that omega around…. they leave you already?”

There was only so much he could take.  “I'll show you a beast—”

Eren drew back to shut the idiot up only to jerk to a halt when his fist stopped short. He growled with frustration, rounding on the bastard that had the audacity to grab his arm when the scent struck him. Captain Levi eyed him impassively, “stand down, Yeager.”

Even as his muscles jumped with tension Eren still found himself sitting back down, gaze narrowed dark as the snide assholes chuckled amongst themselves.

Though they went real quiet when Levi's attention turned to them. “Now, what were we talking about?” the captain inquired, voice possessing a flatness that could mean everything and nothing.

The once rowdy crew looked around the room, only to find everyone’s attention was carefully averted. No one who had dared to laugh wanted that attention turned on them.

Casual as you please the slight captain seated himself at the bench beside the big talker, brushing off the crumb covered surface with a napkin before he turned his attention back to the leader. “So quiet now? Your shit mouth seemed to have a lot to say a minute ago.  Or did your balls just shrivel up?”

“Captain, I--" the words were lost in the vicious collision of his face hitting the bench before him. Once.  Twice.  Three times.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear past the sound of your ugly face disrupting our meal.”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please…” Another bang and the cadet wasn’t resisting anymore.

“I don’t know… the Corps is an equal opportunity employer. We don’t stand orientationist language like yours.  Savages like you make us look like backward ass hicks.  If you’re so desperate to swing your dick, maybe you want to join us on the next expedition, show the titans that little dick.”

Even Eren was beginning to feel bad for the target of Levi's displeasure.  But this was why Levi was both feared and admired.  Even standing a full head shorter than most of them he demanded respect.  It was as terrifying as it was arousing, and Eren found himself shifting in his seat as his gaze remained riveted on the corded forearm displayed as the captain cruelly gripped the back of the recruit’s hair.

For some reason it made him viciously jealous of that man. He wanted the captain's hands on him, harsh and demanding.  The omega could take what he wanted from him, he'd give him anything. Pleasure him for hours if he'd let him.  He had the most vivid fantasy of that harsh hand in his hair, guiding him between those strong white thighs, the sweet flavor of slick bright in his mouth as Eren ate him out.

It was probably for the best that a sharp smack to the back of his head knocked Eren from his reverie. “And you, don’t act like such a brat.  Find some damn control or I'll be training you again.  Idiot.”

He knew it was entirely inappropriate, but his dick ached at the thought.  Levi had been ignoring him for a week, and right now nothing sounded better than letting the omega beat him like a dog if he would just touch him.  Lick his boots, suck his way up those stern thighs.  If he could just get the chance…

***

Levi knew he shouldn't have interfered.  Yeager could take care of himself, he knew that.  Though he could also go too far.  He’d been getting better about controlling his temper, but even a saint would have had their patience tested by the force of those idiots’ ignorance.  He could tell Eren was about to make an example of them and amusing as it may have been, he did not need that kind of mess. 

If he was honest, it had felt good to teach those brats a lesson.  The scouts had been parked long enough to have him stir crazy, and Yeager's constant proximity was doing his peace of mind no favors.  He couldn’t fully understand it, but when they turned to Eren and started running their mouths he felt a cold sort of fury.  It wasn’t just the insult against omegas; there was more to it.  He knew that.

He’d been watching Eren for weeks now.  Of course he’d been careful about it, especially with the kid tailing him like he did.  It felt like he was trapped in Yeager’s orbit, unable to stray too far away if he wanted to keep sane.  It ached in him, and it was frustrating as hell.

He could feel the intensity of Eren’s gaze on him; longing, lingering.  It made it even more difficult to deny him. But the kid didn’t need him now.  He was out of rut, he’d bonded, there was no reason for him to stick to someone like him.  Naturally, his body didn’t seem to agree with him.  He was damn reluctant to call it _pining_ , but it was hard not to feel like a teenage girl with a dumb crush when his heart beat quicker at the sight of that foolish kid.  It didn’t help that he had a duty to keep an eye on him as well.  Regardless of what the bond might be telling him Levi could watch him well enough from a distance. 

They couldn’t be too close.  They’d just end up confused.  There was no way Yeager would move on if he thought Levi could want him back.  The kid was stupidly loyal.  He would ignore everything he could have in favor of sticking with the old man he’d bonded to. 

Levi could cope.  It may hurt, but he knew there were people separated from their bond mate.   It wasn’t something anyone endorsed, but he couldn’t trust a feeling that tried to force its way.  This wasn’t a bond borne of a long history together, it wasn’t based on reason or logic.  This was instant, impossible, and he could not trust it.  As much as it hurt, this was what was best for both of them.

That knowledge didn’t assuage the physical side effects.  It was what brought him to Hange’s side again, seeking some form of relief to keep him from turning around and going right back to the kid.  That and he could feel the tension in the brat as he sought to give chase.  He never thought he would empathize with the titans, but if the kid hunted them with the same sort of single minded focus he was pursing Levi with it was a wonder that there were any left.

Though as always when he found Hange he started to regret seeking her out in the first place.

“Is the tough little captain actually hiding from his pretty alpha mate?” Hange crooned in smug self-satisfaction. He'd have snapped at her if he didn't want to stick here a while longer until Yeager gave up. “He smells good, doesn’t he?”

Levi rolled his eyes even as he tried very hard not to focus on the memory of the heavy masculine sweetness that at had lingered around the brat.  He knew it was a typical alpha trait, but that didn’t stop it from being distracting.  It reminded him of Yeager's maturity in ways he thought were best put out of mind.

 “I hope you know you’re just making things harder on yourself.  You know better than anyone that kid's not going to quit.”

Levi sighed, “that kid's barking up the wrong tree.  I can’t give him what he’s looking for.  I bought him time, that’s it.”

“You know it's more than that, Levi.  You’re usually not this deliberately obtuse.  Do you really think you can convince Eren you have no interest in him when you’re not even convinced yourself?”

The captain shot Hange a dirty look over the pills as he swallowed them dry, mouth twisting in a grimace before he took an offered glass of water.  “I don’t think of him that way.”

Hange leaned back, elbows resting heavily on the armrests.  “Is that right?  I think you’ve just never bothered to examine it.”

It wasn’t something he wanted to hear, but Levi had a hard time denying it.  “He’s my responsibility.”

“And your mate.  He’s not a kid anymore, Levi.  There’s nothing wrong with seeing him as a man.”

He knew the kid was older.  Hell, he was intimately familiar with the brat’s maturity.  It seemed impossible to ignore nowadays.  Bonded as they were, Levi could feel Eren’s attention when it turned to him.  It was… distracting.

“All kids think about is sex,” Levi drawled, drinking more slowly now that the pills were starting to dull the ache of distance.

“It's all you're thinking about, which is why you're avoiding Yeager.  Afraid you’ll be weak to his boyish charms now that you’re not chemically neutered?”  He met the wiggle of dark eyebrows with a very unamused gaze.

“I think I’ll mange.”

Hange smiled.  “I’m sure you will, you always do.”


	7. Chapter 7

Eren had to force himself to contain his elation.  Levi stepping forward in the canteen was the first time the captain had approached him on his own.  He kept replaying the scene in his mind, lingering over the details of Levi’s face as he manhandled the rude young recruit.  His mouth was still watering with jealousy at the thought. 

It seemed silly that he would be so pleased just to have run into the man, but it was more progress than the two had made in days.  The only thing that frustrated him was how quickly Levi had fled the scene.  Eren had to wait too many long moments just to keep suspicion down, but he excused himself the moment he could get away with it.

If Levi was willing to give him the time he didn’t want to miss his chance.

Swallowing hard against his own nerves, he jogged into the hall.  He’d seen the captain disappear towards the east wing.  Was he headed for Hange’s work room?  Eren usually avoided the place so he didn’t get roped into an experiment, but getting to see Levi again was more than worth a few pokes of a needle. 

He started that direction.  Eren’s heart beat harder as he felt the bond tingle, pleased with the nearness of his mate.  He thought if he strained his ears he could hear the captain’s low tones in the distance. 

Levi.

His fists tightened against his thighs as he fought down the sudden rush of need.  He’d been right!  Eren grinned in triumph, starting briskly towards the door just at the end of the hall. 

Though just as quickly as his pursuit began it was thwarted by large hand on his shoulder.  His first instinct was to snarl at it as his baser instincts struggled against the aborted chase.  Damn it, he knew Levi was down there…

Tense below the hand Eren grudgingly came to reason, his conscious mind slowly categorizing the scent of the man behind him as familiar, though knowing only made him more confused.  Commander Erwin?  The presence of another alpha near his mate put him on edge, but he pushed it down as he looked up into that cool blue gaze.

“Won’t you join me for a drink, Eren? We haven’t talked since your bonding.”

Eren blinked wide eyes at the man.  It was odd, the commander didn’t usually approach him on his own.  “Yeah, alright,” he agreed after a long moment, still reluctant to leave when he knew his mate was near. 

“Good, good.”  Without a word Erwin turned, leading him farther and farther away from where he wanted to be.

Eren followed Erwin down the hall to the smaller recreation room that was usually only occupied by officers.  He’d been here a few times to talk to Levi, but usually the captain preferred the more open area frequented by the soldiers.  He didn’t talk much with Erwin directly.  His orders were typically conveyed to Captain Levi, who then passed them down to the team.  Honestly, he preferred it that way, and not just because he enjoyed the captain’s company.

Commander Erwin had always been an inscrutable figure in Eren’s mind.  He was their leader, but Eren couldn’t say he really knew much about the man.  Everyone knew he was an expert strategist, that he could look far enough into the distance to see their future.  The future of humanity.  But it was also accepted that he was not one to shy away from hard decisions.  He made calls that allowed for huge sacrifices if it was for the benefit of the whole.

It may have been selfish; but knowing what sort of pragmatism the commander was capable of had always made him wary of the man.  No one liked thinking about their worth weighed in cosmic strategy, especially with the awareness that their utility could one day expire.

But Levi followed him, trusted him, and that gave the man a lot of credence in his mind.  By all reports the captain had changed much of his life after meeting the commander, after joining his cause.  He didn’t think Levi made such decisions lightly, nor did he blindly follow any cause.  Levi had seen something in Erwin, and Eren had decided to trust that his mate’s eyes saw further than his own.

He took the plush chair Erwin indicated and waited while the other man returned to the table with two glasses and a decanter.  He didn’t recognize the label, but that was no surprise.  He’d joined up with the corps young, and since his titan transformation no one had been terribly willing to let him try it.

He couldn’t say he wasn’t a bit curious. 

The color was rich and warm, a strange contrast to the somewhat harsh smell as he brought it close.  He may not have known much about it, but he would bet it was expensive by the evident relish with which the commander slipped it before indicating for Eren to do the same.  He hesitated only a moment before taking in a generous swallow only to cough sudden as sharp as he grimaced against the burn.  It tasted significantly worse than he’d imagined, especially considering how some of the other scouts liked to throw it back.

Eren didn’t much see the appeal, but as he looked at it he couldn’t help but wonder if the captain would like something like this.  He didn’t remember Levi drinking much alcohol, but then he doubted Levi would drink it around his squad.  He’d always been surprisingly strict with them.  Levi let the scouts get rowdy on their occasional off time, but he tended to play chaperone to the drinking and debauchery.

He may have had to stay sober, but he could still remember watching the captain across the table, just imagining what it would be like to see the captain similarly inebriated.  Would he be sharp and aggressive?  Lax and amused?  He could admit it was hard to picture, but that didn’t mean Eren never tried. 

His favorite vision of an intoxicated captain had him snarky but affectionate.  It was obnoxious from Jean, but imaging Levi hanging on him; low voice telling cruel anecdotes in that dry tone of his… it was perhaps more stimulating than it should have been.

Despite it being a fantasy that had accompanied him many a night, it was still hard for Eren to see it as more than that.  The captain just refused to drop his guard, even around his team.  His mate.

There was something sad about that.  Of all of them Levi probably deserved a break the most.  Eren had never seen him miss out on a battle unless he was too injured to go.  Even then, the captain seemed to take his inability as a personal failing. 

Eren didn’t realize he’d been lost in his thoughts, staring past the amber liquid in his glass until the commander’s voice stirred him from his reverie.

“I’m sorry your presentation was so difficult.  Neither Hange, nor I anticipated how it would interact with your titan biology.  Normally presentation is over in a few days, for yours to be prolonged for weeks is unheard of.  Are you suffering no ill effects now that the bond has set in?”

“I’m fine.  I am grateful Captain Levi was willing to be my bondmate.  I’m not sure what I would have done without him.”

Erwin nodded, “So how are you doing with Levi now? There have been reports indicating that you have been keeping your distance from each other.  I’ll admit I found that news somewhat troubling considering that one of the conditions for our continued custody of you is that Levi watches over you.  Breeching this contract could call our claim into question.” 

Eren’s blood went cold as he met the commander’s eyes across the small table.  He hadn’t really thought too much about it, but he couldn’t exactly refute the truth.  As he struggled to think of some reply Erwin continued, “I’m sure you’re aware that extended distance between bondmates also creates undue stress on both parties.  I assume Levi is the one being stubborn about it?”

Despite the accuracy of the statement Eren found himself bristling.  “The captain has had a lot asked of him.  I don’t feel it’s right to impose until he’s comfortable sharing more with me.”

Erwin was their commander, but that didn’t mean he liked the tone of the man’s conversation.  Eren wanted to close the gap between himself and Levi, but he didn’t plan to force the man, and he didn’t want to imply Levi was doing something wrong. 

Levi had been keeping his distance lately, but he could still feel his presence lingering nearby, just barely out of reach.  Though the first couple days post-bond had been hard, he couldn’t lie about that.  His body had refused to believe they should ever be out of direct contact, aching with the need to seek his mate.  Time had lessened the pull, even though the link felt as strong ever.  He wasn’t crippled, and he could manage throughout the day with the captain just nearby. 

“No one is arguing the value of Captain Levi’s contribution, I am merely communicating the concerns being raised that might contribute to further complications with our current arrangement.  I am sure you have been told about the Military Police branch’s interest in your presentation.  We’ve been receiving a steady line of inquiries regarding your alpha status and current bondmate.”

Just the thought of the MP’s wretched probing in his business set his teeth on edge.  He’d known something wasn’t right.  There was no way he could have fully ignored the unusually high presence of other branch officers inside Survey Corps territory.  The Garrison had been interested, but the police in the interior had been flat out aggressive in their inquiries when they caught Eren out in the halls.  It was another reason he was glad that his mating to Levi wasn’t common knowledge.

“I’ve tried not to encourage them.”

“That’s good, though likely not enough in the long term.  You are a significant asset, Eren, and many parties still hold an interest, especially as you gain more control over your power.  The Survey Corps were dismissed as taking a wild gamble when we took you on, but now that the odds seem more favorable concerning your utility, more people are showing an interest in using your power.”

It’s not like he didn’t know.  The other branch officers were not exactly subtle, but Eren was used to the scrutiny by now.  He was the titan monster, the freak that they thought barely under control.  Most days it didn’t bother him too much.  What troubled him was when those questions began to turn towards his mate.

Information had gotten out that he’d needed to mate to break free from his presentation rut, but they’d managed to keep who he’d bonded to off the record.  He didn’t doubt much of that was owed to the captain’s orientation being largely unknown.

As much as he disliked it, keeping the probing masses at bay was another reason he couldn’t resent Levi’s rejection all that much.  But Eren didn’t get why they were all so interested in Levi.  What good would knowing who his mate is to them?

“They want to use me, I get it.  But what do they want with Levi?  I don’t get it.”

Erwin settled back, “We do not know.  Though I doubt they’ll be losing interest anytime soon.  This is why it is important for your bond to be strengthened to insulate it more against outside interference.  I am not surprised that Levi has his… reservations.  You’re young and bonded to a reluctant and strong omega who is not insignificantly older than you.  This puts you at a strategic disadvantage, but you can’t let Levi dictate all the terms.”

Eren went still as he struggled with the wave of sudden, furious anger.  He didn’t like anything of what the other man was implying.  The commander had no right to tell him how to approach what he had with Levi.  “I’m not, but I’m not going to try and _force_ him.”

The commander’s hand raised in placation, “Please calm down.”

The brunette started, blinking past the instinctive rage.  He hadn’t even realized how his scent had began to dominate the room, thickening the air with the promise of violence.  “Shit... I…”

“I would never imply that you should force Levi.  Realistically, I doubt either of you would survive the attempt.  But looking rationally at your situation you can’t expect much progress with Levi setting the pace.  I know you have little reason to trust me in this matter, but I do want what is best for Levi.”

It was the first thing that the commander had said that actually gave Eren pause.  “What can I do?  I don’t want him to hate me, and if I push I’m sure we’ll only get farther apart.  I thought we were pretty close… at least relatively… but there’s so much I don’t know about him and it hangs over my head.  He won’t tell me anything but acts like if I knew it would change things.”

Erwin seemed to contemplate this for a while, “as I’m sure you’re at least somewhat aware, Levi has walked a more difficult path than most.  I doubt it would do you much good for me to reveal what Levi is not willing to share, and honestly even my acquaintanceship with him doesn’t extend far back enough to give you many of your answers.”

Eren tried— he tried not to feel frustrated, but it was hard.  “So, what are you even trying to say?  How does this help?!”

“It doesn’t.  I believe this is one of the few times that knowledge of the past won’t be that beneficial for you.  The captain is one of the most adaptable human beings I have ever encountered.  Though his circumstances were poor he was irrepressible even in that darkness.” A small frown marked his features as he took another slow sip from his drink.  “That doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could have done more for him.  Humanity needs his abilities, and that has always been my priority, heartless though it may seem.   Though this could be a chance.  This bond, your connection and support, has the potential to make the both of you stronger.”

Despite himself the words resonated with Eren.  Maybe his talk with Levi had only confused things.  He’d been focused on what he didn’t know, but from what he knew of the captain he never spent much time looking back.

Levi looked forward.  Eren just had to place himself inside the captain’s vision of the future. 

But how would he do that? It was clear was that nothing was going to move forward just by his willing it that way.  If he wanted things to change he had to make Levi aware of him.  Being around and available hadn’t done that… maybe what he needed was to be out of reach.

There was less tension in the bond now, it allowed them to simply exist in the barracks with each other without ever making true contact.  It wasn’t always comfortable, but it met the need.  That wouldn’t be the case if Eren left the barracks.

The distance would stretch the bond, causing discomfort to both parties until they bridged the gap.  He felt guilty even thinking about making the captain go through that.  He didn’t want to abandon Levi—he wasn’t, he couldn’t think like that.  He just wanted the captain to understand that they needed each other.

“I’m going to go to the farm to practice my transformations,” Eren declared before doubt could creep in and keep him from taking action.

“Right now?”  Erwin inquired, though he made no move to stop him.

“You said I need to do something… well, I am.  I won’t be long, and I’ll make sure Armin and Hange know so they can find me if anything happens.”

“Not Levi?” No judgement was audible in his tone.

“He’ll know.” Eren forced himself not to think about how the captain might react.  The bond withdrawal they’d experienced in that first few days had been terrible, he doubt it would be that bad again, but he didn’t think it would be easy.

He clenched his hands in the sturdy fabric of his pants.  It wasn’t a perfect plan, but Eren had to hope that it might make the captain really think about things between them.  Did Levi really wanted to try and pretend they weren’t anything to each other?

It felt uncomfortably like an ultimatum, but they couldn’t stay like this forever.  It wasn’t enough to just be around the other person.  If they couldn’t stand to be apart, how did Levi think it would feel for him to be with someone else? 

Erwin seemed satisfied with the solution, “If you’re set to leave immediately, then I’ll call ahead to the stables to get your horse and some supplies ready.  I trust your training won’t be too long?”

“I—I hope not.  I’ll send regular reports.  Hange has been pressuring me to practice fine motor skills in my titan form anyway.  We’ve been quiet for a while, so it shouldn’t interrupt the scout’s current plans.”

That seemed all Erwin needed because his next nod was of dismissal.  Eren didn’t question it.  He’d had enough difficult conversations to last a lifetime, and he was unfortunately anticipating a few more.  Armin was likely not going to be thrilled with the news, and there was no predicting Hange.

As he’d predicted Armin was confused but understanding.  Hange on the other hand seemed pleased, though that may just have been because he was conducting her experiments.  Either way, his duty done, Eren refused too let himself think too long as he went to his room to gather himself.

It was a continuous battle against the rebellion of his own thoughts as he packed up to leave. 

His throat was dry and hands unsteady as he mounted his horse, refusing to look at the barracks behind him.  Levi was there.  Somewhere.

His breath shuddered through his lungs, but despite himself he went forward.  He’d come this far, he couldn’t stop now.

Getting to the outskirts of the barracks were unpleasant, but bearable.  It wasn’t until he cleared the outpost that he felt the first echo of confusion down the line.

The next tug on the bond was distress.  The sudden ache had Eren jerking to a halt, cursing quietly as the abrupt move almost threw him from his horse.  His palms were sweating where they clutched the reigns, his eyes closed against his mate’s mingled outrage and frustration.  Levi clearly didn't approve of the distance, but after a moment he felt the feeling slowly be tamped down.

For some reason that only upset him more.

Stubborn man.  Well, he could be stubborn too. 

Eren forced himself to go forward.  It was only a trot, but he could breathe through it as the distance increased the pain of separation.  Every moment of it felt wrong, but he couldn't turn back now.  If he stopped nothing was going to be different.  He’d wait here until Levi came for him.  And if he didn't… well, Eren would figure something out.

***

It was three days before Levi decided he couldn’t take it anymore.  No one was panicking, so he knew Yeager hadn’t been taken, but the brat was nowhere in range.  He’s kept tabs on him for a while, but it seemed the one time he’d looked away the little shit had used the chance to flee.

What frustrated him the most was that he knew this is what he'd said he wanted.  He hadn’t told the kid to go away, but he'd be lying to say he hadn’t thought distance would help.  Well, that idea had gone tremendously wrong.  Levi could hardly think past the steady ache of loss.  It felt stupid to say he felt abandoned, but he couldn’t think of another way to describe the feeling.

It was a constant, nagging pain that seemed impossible to ignore.  It had been bad when they first bonded, but somehow this seemed worse.  The first time may have made him physically ill, but he preferred it to the empty gnawing he was left with now.  Beyond his conscious will Levi found himself searching out the scent of him, lingering in front of Yeager’s empty room before forcing himself to leave the barracks altogether.

No longing should be this distracting, not for some brat he hardly knew. 

He’d been careful to limit their exposure to each other, keeping the bond on starvation rations so it wouldn't try to weave itself tighter.  Yet somehow, despite his best efforts, his body had grown accustomed to the presence at the end of their link.  He couldn’t help but wonder what the idiot was doing out there and why he was being so damn difficult.

He was in charge of the kid wasn’t he?  Why the hell hadn’t he been told?

God, his head hurt. 

“Where the hell is that brat?” Levi worked very hard to keep his tone level, but even he could feel the stir of a growl within his chest.

He’d come to Hange because he didn’t trust himself to be even half civil with anyone else.  Plus, if there was a scheme afoot, it was likely their resident scientist had some part in it.  Hange, the crazy bitch, seemed only amused at his frustration.  “Well hello to you too.  Nice to see you back again so soon.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Shitty Glasses.  You know something.”  She had to.  There was no way the kid would have got it in his head to scamper off alone, not when he was usually glued to his ass.

“I know lots of things, for example, did you know it takes exactly 1.2 minutes for a pound of titan flesh to evaporate? Fascinating really--"

“I'm not nearly patient enough for this bullshit, Hange.  Where the hell is Yeager? He's nearly out of range and it’s giving me a goddamn migraine.”

“Perhaps he's taking some time to himself? Last I checked you wanted to go your separate ways anyway.  Think of this as a little dress rehearsal of your life apart.”  The satisfied little smile she gave him was totally unnecessary.  Hange had made no secret of her opinion on Yeager and his further developing their relationship, but he hadn’t thought she’d stab him in the back.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?  Hange, I’m really not in the mood to play games.  Where is he?”

The squad leader leaned back in her chair, looking wildly entertained as she sipped her tea.  “No reason to be so tense.  He’s at the farmhouse where he usually trains his titan form.  I’m sure he’d love for you to visit.”

Levi’s lips twisted in a frown.  No, he was not running after the kid like his little dog.  “No thanks.  When is he going to be back?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe you should ask him?  Oh, wait… you can’t.”

He may just kill her.  “This had been supremely unhelpful.”

“Well, you know what they say about helping those who help themselves.  Or was it leading a horse to water? I don’t know, I can never keep those archaic idioms straight.  No matter!  You know where your little love muffin is when you want him.”

Levi would try to argue that Eren wasn’t his, but he didn’t have it in him right now.  At the moment every bit of him was keenly aware that the kid was his _something_ and trying to ignore the fact wasn’t going to do him any good.

A week.  Shit.  Three days was already grating at him.  Still, he didn’t have much of a choice.  Unless he was willing to go there and admit that he couldn’t live without the kid, he’d have to endure.  He didn’t know when everyone had become so invested in their playing house, but he was damn tired of it.

Before Hange could voice a protest Levi took a tin of pain killers from the table, leaving without another word.  He had a feeling he was going to need it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses but excuses for the terribly late update. I thought I'd post this before I convince myself to edit further and never get it posted, so hopefully it doesn't disappoint. Thanks so all the folks who have stuck in there, and I do really appreciate your thoughtful comments. Enjoy, and happy early V-Day.

Eren had been gone for two and a half weeks.

He’d had two and a half weeks of no eager brat hounding his steps, distracting him from his work and of course he was miserable.  Levi had thought a bit of distance would weaken the connection, starve to a faint twinge they could easily ignore.  Instead it only aggravated the bond, making it ruthless and desperate to assert itself. 

The captain would be trying to file reports only to find himself zoned out down the line, utterly focused on the flickering presence too many miles away.  He snapped out of it just to find himself short of breath, shocked to wakefulness by his own rapidly beating heart.  It was like drowning, and yet somehow it was still better than the alternative… when his _body_ fixated on Eren instead of just his mind.

It had been years since Levi had woken up with a hard on.  

At first he didn't even recognize the feeling.  His skin felt too hot and tight around him, making the captain stretch restlessly before a lick of heat startled him when his dick dragged against the sheets.  It felt… good, and the shock of it brought him immediately to bewildered wakefulness.  He frowned as he sat up enough to register the obvious tent in the sheets, still uncertain about the feeling. 

Levi had been on suppressants so long he’d forgotten he could feel like this, that he could hunger for no discernable reason.  His breath shook as he dragged his shaking hands through his sweat damp hair.

It was way too fucking soon to be dealing with this again.  His cock was so firm it ached, and other things… fuck he was _wet_.  He couldn't even remember the last time that had happened.

He still trying to decide what the hell he was going to do about it when he felt a distant hum echo through the bond.  Levi only had a moment to curse his luck before his body cramped with frustrated desire.  That damn brat… nudging him, cautious but insistent, like a dumb mutt nosing at his dick.

They were miles apart, but he could feel that interest clear as day.  It felt good, as hot and intimate as a stroke rolling down his spine.  His dick twitched and Levi trembled as he pressed back against the sheets. 

The captain groaned against the heat but startled when he felt the distinct press of answering arousal.  It was eager, inquisitive, and almost without thinking Levi shut the connection down.

The backlash of suppressing the bond made his head hurt, but anything was better than the insidious pleasure he could feel building in him if he’d let that go on.  His heart was still racing, and that brat had only touched him for a moment.

Levi didn’t even want to think about the kid, he just couldn’t help it as his hands balled in the damp sheets while he looked away from the lurid tent of the cloth over his erect cock. He hated it, but that wasn’t making the need go away.  The stubborn part of him wanted to ignore it, to not give his body the satisfaction.  But the very thought of taking a cold shower first thing in the morning made him sick.

He had shit to do, he couldn’t waste all day waiting for his body to understand it wasn’t happening.  It only left one obvious option, even as he resented it.

The captain felt like a teenager again, angry and impatient when he touched himself. Against his conscious will his thoughts drifted back to Eren.   He should have known considering his last sexual experience had been helping the kid out of his rut.  Just the thought made his dick leap in his palm, a liquid heat slithering between his hips.  It was ridiculous how…  stimulating the memory suddenly was.  He knew damn well that at the time riding that little punk had been uncomfortable at best.

He’d been soft and sore, yet here he was leaking just thinking about how full he had been.  Eren had been helpless beneath him, yet still it had still felt like that brat had bullied his way in, forcing Levi to yield, aching around his girth.  The captain knew the young alpha had wanted to break the bonds.  He’d been growling for it, desperate to get his hands on him and do as he pleased.   But despite it all Eren had been good, obedient, as Levi had him. 

Even awkward and uncomfortable as it had been, Levi had basked in the worship in those big green eyes, the blatant desire they barely kept in check.  If Levi would have faltered for a moment that brat would have had him on all fours, fucking him like an animal.

Levi found a growl simmering low and hot within him as he gripped his cock, swearing under his breath as the vicious rubbing didn’t seem enough.  It was hot and liquid in that other place, obviously yearning for him to touch it.  He knew it would be good.  Fuck, he hadn’t fingered himself since that awkward prep to mount Yeager.  It was infinitely different when he wanted to touch himself there.  Somehow it felt too shameful, too much like losing to let that tender whore have what it wanted.

It was bad enough thinking about it, he had no intention of giving into these desires that could lead nowhere good.  This would have to be enough.

He thought about how Eren’s scent had spiked when he'd manhandled that idiot.  He was sure the brat thought he was subtle, but he'd broadcasted desire.  Levi’s breath caught as he fucked into his hand.  Damn brat.  God, he might have given him a complex knocking the idiot around so much if he’d started to like it.  Maybe the captain would grab him by his hair next time, show what that reckless mouth could do besides starting dumb fights.

The friction was finally tight and perfect, and Levi didn’t even bother to pretend that he wasn’t fantasizing about that baby alpha anymore.  Yaeger wasn’t there, he didn’t have to know.  Just for know he’d allow himself these thoughts.  Levi could ignore how bad of an idea it would be to get involved with an alpha brat and just think about how that hard body felt beneath him.  

It took too long and was too goddamn messy, but eventually Levi managed to get off.  He grimaced in the aftermath, still sticky with cooling sweat.  Fuck his life.

*** 

Unfortunately, a hard dick and bad temper became the status quo after that first morning of frustrated lust.  This was of course in addition to the constant headaches and nagging ache of loss.  Levi had pushed him away, he hadn’t wanted the brat to be there, but his biology wasn’t at all swayed by the decisions of his conscious will.  The bond was like an infected wound, jagged and sharp around the edges, leaking toxic ichor that made him think that he was sick even in perfect health. 

Levi had never been connected to anyone enough to feel lonely, but the bond had changed that.  It made him conscious of another, but worse yet conscious of their absence.

Week four he woke up absolutely drenched in sticky cold sweat.  He grimaced as he all but had to peel himself out of his sheets, cursing more when all his muscles seemed set to cramp at every movement out of bed.  Levi had thought he was getting better considering that his appetite had come back.  The previous night he’d even had an extra portion, their normally surly chef was so shocked the crone hadn’t even bothered to bitch at him.

He should have known it was all to get him off guard. 

Unsteady though he might have been Levi got to his feet, viciously stripping the covers from the bed and throwing them in the corner.  They were soaked with sweat and he felt filthy shivering as it chilled on his skin.  He looked at the damp pile, finding himself angrier as he realized that now the floor was dirty too.  It frustrated him so much he found a bag to toss the sheets in and took out a bucket to begin mopping the floor.

After a fit of restless cleaning he waited for a sense of satisfaction that never came.  Tidying usually helped Levi feel centered, reminded him of where he was and how far he’d come.  Now, all he could think about was the filth clinging to his skin, about how everything felt and smelled wrong.

Levi was soon neck deep in the scalding water, scrubbing vigorously but he still felt… different.  Every inch of his skin seemed wrong, like it was too small, but still somehow swollen and raw.  He wanted to rip it off him.  Even he was startled at the violence of the urge to crawl out of himself and go somewhere, anywhere else.

Anxiety like this was alien to Levi and he hated it.  When he had scrubbed himself raw, Levi left the tub, roughly drying himself and hating that the abrasion wasn’t giving him the stimulation he was looking for.  He needed something… he just couldn’t figure out what.

***

Considering his mood, visitors were about the last thing he wanted, so of course he was a terribly popular fellow right about now.  He’d thought chasing Hange out was bad enough, but he recognized a very particular alpha stink just before he heard a firm knock on the door.

Erwin.  He was not feeling patient enough for his games right now. 

The captain had to force himself to release his crushing grip on the papers he’d been sorting through.  Levi had half a mind to just leave the prick out there.  He might have if he didn’t know Erwin wouldn't leave.  The commander would just stand out there with limitless patience forcing Levi to either open the door or admit to a pettiness he thought beneath him.

He hated that overbearing sense of superiority that accompanied alphas so readily.  It set his teeth on edge, well that and the smell.  Even through the door the scent of Erwin’s alpha-ness was potent.  On the suppressants he’d barely been able to smell anything, but now everything seemed to stink like pheromones.  And when he felt like shit the scent just made him irritable.

Accepting the unpleasant but inevitable, Levi snapped for the commander to come in.  He made himself shove papers into the filing cabinet, anything to distract himself from the other presence he very unwanted guest. 

He had hoped the rudeness would hasten Erwin along, but as Levi paced about for nearly five minutes, the commander didn’t go anywhere or say anything.  The silence but for the angry snap of slamming cabinets and shuffling finally drove Levi to look at the commander.  He took two steps away without really noticing. 

Erwin didn’t look all that different, he stood quiet and at attention, but there was something in that cool gaze that made Levi thoroughly uncomfortable.  There was a low rumble echoing through the room, but what surprised Levi was that the sound was coming from him.  Discomforted by the animalistic impulse, he tried to cut it off, only to find it seemed neigh impossible while Erwin still stood in the room.

At the very least it seemed to prompt the man, as after a prolonged pause, he moved again.  “Where is Yeager?”

The question wasn’t much better than the silence.  “How the fuck should I know?”

“Besides your taking responsibility for him, he is your mate.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

Erwin breathed a sigh he reserved for when he thought Levi was being particularly obtuse.  It usually pissed Levi off, but it was honestly such a welcome departure from the tense atmosphere of earlier that he couldn’t bring himself to mind.  “You’re in your estrus cycle.  You need to—”

Wait, what?  It had been a long time, so he wasn’t surprised he had trouble recognizing it, but this was way too early.  He’d only gotten off the drugs last month.  “I don’t have to do anything.”

“Besides the clear relationship strengthening opportunity heats provide, until this is solved your scent will continue to attract… interest.”

“What the fuck, isn’t mating supposed to cut that shit out?”

Well at least Erwin was starting to look as pained as he fucking was about now.  “That would be the case if your bond was reinforced frequently and you had the blended pheromone cues of an omega mated regularly with a particular alpha.  As it is,” Erwin looked away, “you still seem available.”

Levi couldn’t suppress his disgust, “well I’m not.  That’s… ugh.”

“I am sure Yeager would be willing—"

“No, fuck no.  Do not get him,” Levi was exceptionally uncomfortable with how the repeated mention of the kid was making his body restless. 

“Is there a problem with—”

“I said no!”

Erwin looked at him for a long time.  Levi was pacing again, hating how now that he’d been mentioned it his mind was starting to fixate on the kid.  “It would be in everyone’s best interests to solve this.  If he won’t do, another alpha could—”

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.”

You could tell that Erwin was smart because he didn’t say anymore.  He seemed to realize without further prompting that the discussion was closed.  A glance of patronizing disappointment was a small price to pay for the removal of Erwin and his oppressive scent.  It was only when he was a ways off that Levi released a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. 

He didn’t believe for a minute Erwin was done with his schemes, but for the moment he had other business to worry about.  First and foremost was getting back to his room and the barricading the door before his mind spiraled too far in unwelcome directions.  As much as he detested it, Erwin’s word had given voice to that aching under his skin, and now named it seemed just that much harder to ignore.

Now that he knew it wasn’t going to go away Levi was even more irritated.  There was no way he was going to get any work done like this.  He was burning up, hurting and restless. 

It was all coming back to him why he’d gone on suppressants in the first place.  This was a miserable feeling.  He didn’t care how idiots tried to glamorize it, there was nothing sexy about aching in unmentionable places and being half out of his mind half the time.  It was like an itch just out of reach, an animal compulsion that curtailed good sense in favor of any relief.  Everything inside him felt too tight, yet at the same time overfull with sensation.  It made him want to crawl out of his own skin.

If that wasn’t bad enough, people responded to a heat.  He couldn’t just suffer in peace.  No, every dumb fuck in sniffing distance thought that their dick was the solution to his problems. 

Alphas liked to act like they couldn’t control themselves, like it was impossible for them not to try and force themselves on an omega.  It was nonsense.  Bullshit excuses to justify their own primitive lusts.  If in the grip of goddamn heat he could turn them down, they could do the same, and no dumb pig was going to convince him otherwise.

“Ugh,” Levi groaned as another spasm burned through him.  Fuck, he had to get moving.  Erwin had been by, but despite his dislike of the man he could admit that he possessed above average self-control.  Even so, he had been looking a little tense near him.  He didn’t like how that might translate with whatever other idiot thought his misery was their invitation to his ass.

***

He hadn’t come.  An entire month had passed and there was no sign of Levi coming to see him.  Stretching the bond had almost broke him, but as always what was his will compared to the force of nature that was Captain Levi?  Maybe he’d been a fool to think there was any chance the stubborn man would buckle first.  Perhaps it was a relief to have him gone, and Levi really didn’t care at all.

No, he couldn't think like that.  Eren forced himself not to cede to the lure of despair.

Levi may not have swallowed his pride and come after him, but the captain had been thinking about him.  He didn’t need formal training in bond interpretation to feel the longing down the line.  Every few days he’d sense the intense sweep the omega’s keen attention before it withdrew almost regretfully when Eren dared to respond.  It was… frustrating.  He wanted to tell the man that they were bonded, it was okay feel attached, to want him, to touch him.  But no, all too often his attempts at reaching out resulted in jarring pain as Levi yanked at the bond, slamming it shut like a fortress gate.

His head was left hurting for hours in the aftermath, but still he persisted in reaching out.  Though lately he’d been subject to a new and more enticing torment. 

It started out innocently enough.  Eren would be waking up or working out, trying to distract himself from the ragged edges of the bond when all of a sudden the connection would hum to life.  It was like sitting in sunlight after years of bitter cold.  The sheer relief was often enough to have his head fuzzy, and then he'd feel that melting heat that made him suddenly, vividly aware that Levi was _aroused_.

Eren had thought reaching out to be denied was bad, but nothing quite matched the terrible frustration of feeling his mate turned on, feeling him respond only to be abruptly turned away.  Most mornings it had him panting into the sheets as he fucked his fist, envisioning Levi bucking below him.  His memory of their time together in his rut with hazy, but he was young and had plenty of time to dream up the details.  Just the thought of dragging his teeth over the captain's elegant nape, of nuzzling the shaved sides of his head as he rode him got him going.

He knew it hadn’t happened during their time together, but he always lost it picturing the captain coming around him, thinking of the helpless noises that would spill from that stern mouth as he took his pleasure.  Levi would clench down so hard it would almost hurt, but Eren could fuck him through it, make it last, make it good for him so that the captain wouldn’t want anyone else.

He would know his alpha, want him, and everything would be perfect.

Of course, this was a fantasy, and more often than not he woke up sticky and ashamed of his own thoughts as he remembered the neglected ache of their shuttered connection.  The drop after could be bad.  Bad enough that he’d become pretty good at forcing himself to focus on other things.

Fortunately, there was always something to work on in humanity’s last true resistance. 

Eren kept in contact with Hange, especially when his stay became so much extended.  She directed him in his training and experiments and was kind enough to provide some much-needed reports on how Levi was doing.  His friends had also stopped by on occasion in the month he'd been away, but they were always a little hard to handle in his state of mind. 

Eren appreciated their concern, he really did, but he had made up his mind a long time ago.  Levi was going to be his.  No amount of convincing was going to change his mind that the stubborn captain wasn't his best possible mate once the man stopped worrying about things that didn’t matter. 

And despite their doubts things were changing.  He could feel it.  It wasn’t just the mornings of arousal, it was the yearning he felt in the exchange.  Every time Levi took a bit longer to shut their link down.  Just yesterday he’d almost gotten to the end before the captain shut him out.

Even remembering it had Eren swallowing against the instinctive urge to bite, his body still aching to reassert his claim.  He forced his gaze away from the window and it’s view towards the scout headquarters.  It seemed so far away sometimes, but he had to be patient.

Hange had given him a number of experiments to do when she wasn’t around.  He'd been practicing slicing off some skin to harden in smaller quantities so that the mad scientist could make tools from it.  She'd theorized that making small knives, needles and the like might allow them to fabricate things from other difficult to work with materials due to the exceptional hardness of crystalized titan skin. 

It hurt, but he was making progress and bracing for the pain was fairly effective in keeping him distracted from the captain's conspicuous absence.  Even so, his gaze still drifted to the desk and chair sat in the corner, just a bit nicer than all the shabby furnishings in the rest of the place.  It was where Levi usually sat.  He hadn’t told anyone, but he’d actually brought that furniture over from a nicer house that had also been abandoned nearby.  It was a silly impulse, but it had seemed worth it when he’d seen Levi sit down on the modest red upholstery with the barest twinge of satisfaction.

Levi.

He set aside the samples after a bit, unable to shake his restlessness today.  It had been worse this morning.  There was something wrong, or right, he couldn’t tell.  He wanted to reach down the line, feel it, but he knew it'd do no good with Levi, the stubborn goat.

His quiet ruminations were interrupted by the distant sound of a horse approaching.

Eren stood so fast he overturned his chair but couldn’t be bothered to right it as he jogged to the window.  Hange was usually the only one that visited regularly, and her mare had a distinctly manic gate well that echoed her master.

He could see a silhouette approaching at a steady pace, just cresting the hillside on the farm's edge.  Was it Levi?

The crack of the wood sill beneath his hands startled him and Eren guiltily released it from his grasp.  He'd been clutching it like a lifeline, though his heart fell as the distant shape became more distinct.

Those shoulders were much too large for Levi, and the horse too solid.  The captain's beast was fast like he was, while this one had the heavy gait of a warhorse.

Then who was it?  Eren frowned but turned from the window to hastily tie his hair back before going to the door.

He opened it only to find himself confused by the sight of Commander Erwin setting his hood down and brushing himself off.

“Yeager,” the blonde man acknowledged evenly before tying his horse to the hitching post.

“Commander.  What brings you here?”

“Do I need a reason?”

The words made Eren frown.  There was definitely something wrong.  Considering their last conversation, Eren was understandably wary of the man.  He knew the commander played a long game.  Eren had always believed in being straightforward, and preferred frank interactions.  Talking to Erwin felt like speaking a foreign language, one which he was painfully unfamiliar with.  That sense of unease paired poorly with his new perception of Erwin as an alpha, a challenger in this little territory who was closer to his mate than he feared he'd ever be.

The thought sat bitter in his mind and he forced himself to focus on the present.  “No… I just don’t get many visitors when I’m here.”

Erwin seemed to consider this.  He didn’t look in a hurry, so despite his discomfort Eren escorted him inside.  The tall blonde alpha looked around and it occurred to him that the man may not have been to the little farm. 

After a bit of consideration, the commander settled into the well cared for red chair that unofficially belonged to Levi.  Eren was embarrassed by how much seeing him there put his teeth on edge.  He almost told the man to move but thought better of it when he realized how ridiculous it sounded.

He was thankful when Erwin broke the increasingly tense silence, “Captain Levi often accompanies you here, does he not?”

“Yeah.”  Eren doubted he was going to like where any of this was going.

“He hasn’t come to you yet.”

Eren had to force down the desire to bare his teeth at the man.  Like he didn’t know that.  He didn’t need the commander to point out the difficulties in his and Levi’s relationship.  “What are you getting at?”

“Your plan isn’t working.  An important part of strategy is understanding when to cut your losses and alter your approach.”

“Things are changing. I can feel it.  I just need to—”

“You may not have the luxury of time.  I was with Captain Levi an hour ago and he is just about to begin his heat cycle.  It is your duty as his mate to be there.”

Heart leaping into his throat, Eren stood, fist gripped too tightly on the table’s edge.  “The Captain…  asked for me?”

A small wrinkle developed between the commander’s patrician brows.  “He didn’t ask.  Levi seems stubbornly determined to spend it alone.  As is alpha it is your job to stop this foolishness.  His cycle will pass much quicker and less painfully with a partner.”

Oh.

He braced against the heat behind his eyes.  So, Levi didn’t want him.  The rejection hurt more than he’d thought, but worse was the thought of Levi suffering it alone.  He didn’t want to think of the captain in pain, aching and lonely the entire time.  He didn’t know if heats were anything like his rut, but he’d thought he would go insane left alone for so long. 

Despite it all, he understood.  Even Humanity’s Strongest would be vulnerable during his heat.  He might want it to change, but he knew they weren’t in a place for Levi to trust him like that.  He would have to respect the captain’s decision.  “I can’t.”

The denial seemed to give Erwin pause, the alpha finally turning to look directly at Eren.  “You need to help him.”

Low and deep, a growl rose within his throat and for once the titan shifter let it happen, embracing the heaviness of own frustrated instincts.  If Erwin thought that Eren would back down under that cold blue gaze, he was mistaken.  “Levi wants to spend it alone.  I’m not going to force him.”

“So that is your decision?”

“It is.”

Erwin poured himself a cup from a flask of cool water at his belt, heavy stare cast into the distance as he sipped.  “I hope you won’t regret it.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say all of your lovely comments have really kept me going. I appreciate the time you take to leave them and know you make me smile every time. For now enjoy a not too delayed update!

Actually getting everything handled so that he could disappear for a few days was taking a hell of a lot longer than Levi had planned.  Considering the amount of bitching they did about him not taking leave, there was a remarkable amount of bureaucratic bullshit for him to shovel.  Fill out this form, inform these people, assign a proxy here and there.

He’d sprayed on buckets of that beta cologne Hange had given him and though his eyes were near watering with the putrid artificial stench, he was still getting fewer looks than before.  Of course, that did nothing for the cramps that stabbed him every few minutes.  Pain he could handle, but it was obvious the heat was getting impatient with him.

Even if he’d wanted a partner it was too damn late for it now. 

He had said he was going to go through this alone and he'd meant it.  His body might be saying one thing, but it was too dumb to understand what a horrible idea it would be to get Eren involved in this.

It wasn't even his dignity or discomfort that he was worried about.  He might have his issues with trust, but beyond that they just weren't there yet.  Eren might agree, probably would if he was honest with himself, but he wasn’t going to take advantage of the kid's earnest desire to please him. He couldn’t go from ignoring the brat for weeks to demanding he help him through a heat. 

Eren would never understand it was a one-time thing.  He’d think they were lovers now.  The brat would expect casual touches, affection, the easy intimacy of a real relationship, and when that didn’t happen… when nothing changed, he would break a bit inside.

People could say what they wanted to about him, but he wasn’t out to break Yeager’s stupid heart.  He knew the kid felt something for him, and he didn’t plan to go leading him on until he had an answer for those feelings.

For now he would deal with it alone.  He’d done it before in the slums, before he had the means to buy or steal suppressants.  There was a lot from then he didn’t care to dwell on, but he knew he could survive it. 

It was a mess.  Painful, debilitating, but he could deal for a few days, a week on the outside.  If Eren got wind he'd be upset, but the kid was better off hurt than broken.  The clusterfuck of their relationship would have to be tabled for another day, he could talk to the kid when they both had level heads. Because despite his best intentions, this shit wasn’t working out.

Just thinking about the emotional fallout made him tired. 

He had to head into the officer’s reception area to hand off the last notifications on his leave.  If he thought the place had been insufferable before, it was definitely worse now.  The halls stank with what he could now identify as alpha pheromones.  He wasn’t surprised considering all the bullshit posturing they did with each other.  When he'd been on suppressants he hadn’t liked how the place felt, but now it was downright repulsive.  The stink of it made his skin crawl.

It didn’t help that he could feel himself beginning to sweat as his internal temperature began to climb.  He hurt nearly everywhere, being filthy on top of that did nothing for his mood. He felt a tickling at his neck and reached up to wipe it away, grimacing as it came back slick with sweet smelling oil.

Only then did he start noticing the lingering looks he was getting from some of the officers he passed in the halls.  The majority were alphas, the kind that usually treated the short beta captain like dirt beneath their boot, who now seemed to be looking at him like something to eat.  His scowl and reputation kept them walking, but he didn’t like the pause as he passed by.  Eventually someone was going to steel up the courage to approach and he did not plan to be around when that happened.

Considering the circumstances, he was in no mood for any bitching when he threw the last of the required papers at the military paper pusher.  Thankfully, the secretary was a beta and took it with minimal huffing. Though they did sniff at the air delicately as they looked it over.  He’d heard the average beta had a pretty weak sense of smell and was profoundly grateful for it in that moment.  Levi withheld the urge to snap as they wasted precious time perusing it, stealing a shuddering breath through his teeth as he worked up the fortitude to get back to his quarters. 

He’d taken a week just to be sure and had already arranged for meals to be delivered to his door.  All he had to do now was get back.

Once the secretary finally stamped the form he snatched it up without another word.  This time he was going to take the back way out of the officer's wing. 

All this bureaucratic bullshit had taken time he didn’t have.  His skin felt tight, itchy, and honestly he couldn't tolerate the stench of alphas burning his nose any longer.

Just entering the back hall felt better.  The path was mostly used by secretaries and staff, so it was remarkably free of unwelcome scents.  Levi strode purposefully through, unwilling to tolerate any more nonsense delays.

He should not have been surprised to find an officer lingering in the hall.  The man was leaning casually against the wall, sorting idly though a small stack of papers.  Other times he would have ignored their presence, but something about how they were standing put Levi on edge.  He hadn’t stayed alive so long by ignoring his instincts, and something told him the man was paying him too much attention.  But to get back to his room Levi would have to pass him by, that or go through the main way and contend with every dumb shit that would come sniffing.  The choice was clear, even if he didn’t like it.

Carefully Levi advanced, keeping some space between himself and where the officer leaned against the wall.  He didn’t recognize the man, but that didn’t mean much when the turnover rate was so high and the guy didn’t look like part of the Survey Corps.

Probably visiting… that didn’t bode well.  People tended to think they were unaccountable for their actions when out of their own department.

Though he didn't pause in the least on the way there, Levi stopped dead when an arm blocked his path.  He may have been accustomed to it, but it didn’t piss him off any less to look up into the smug face of the officer looming over him.  The man’s face was contorted in the self-satisfied grin of a man that thinks he’s got one over on someone.  It made Levi want to punch him in the face.

“Captain Levi,” the smug fuck acknowledged through his grin.  Levi’s hands tightened into fists as the man crossed his arms, feet set apart like he needed to make himself look larger.

Levi’s eyes traveled to the guy’s name tag even as he seethed.  “Colonel Sauer.”  Military Police Branch.  Of fucking course he was.  “You’re in my way.”

“A minute of your time, Captain.  Your commander's been rather tight lipped on the subject, but word is spreading in the military.  That dog of yours just matured and suddenly he’s MIA.  Care to comment on that?  Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious to you, Captain Levi?  Last I heard you had taken responsibility for him, but here I see you at headquarters, applying for leave no less.  There’s dereliction of duty, and then there's just wanton disregard for the public good.”

He did not have time for this.  “You don’t know anything about duty, or about Yeager.  We have the situation handled, as Erwin has no doubt made your people aware of.”

“Handled?” An unkind twinkle came to the Colonel's eyes as he leaned uncomfortably nearer, the sick stench of alpha making Levi’s teeth ache.  “From what our people know your pet monster presented alpha, not only that, but they had to bond him to keep him sane.  A beta like you wouldn’t know, but bonding can have dramatic effects on an alpha, make him think things, do things he wouldn’t usually do.  This omega would have power over Yeager.  How could anyone trust him to keep the best interests of mankind at heart when he's all wrapped up in some omega’s games?  Not only is humanity's least reliable asset now in a relationship with an unknown quantity, but you don’t seem to give a damn.”

“And you don’t seem to understand how to focus on your own affairs.  I’d think with the vast restructuring of the MPs after their numerous prior fuck ups that you’d be busier with things that actually concerned you.”  This wasn’t good, Levi could feel the anger starting to build.  Usually fury came as a cool rush, bracing enough that he saw through it like glass, but at the moment it had him hot.  Burning.

Sauer looked about to pop a vessel before he went abruptly still, his dark gaze suddenly much too rapt on Levi for his liking.  “I see, well, things are beginning to make a lot more sense.”

Levi went stiff as a board when suddenly the Colonel had his nose mere inches from his throat, the officer taking a noisy inhale that made a him feel abruptly unclean. 

That upstart asshole… It took a terrible force of will to keep Levi from breaking his nose, the captain drawing what scarce space he could between them.  He wasn’t in good shape for this fight, and so far besides being annoying, the man hadn’t made any real moves.  Though just the scent of him was confusing his dumb instincts.

Sauer had the audacity to laugh, his larger body looming enough to put Levi in shade.  “Maybe it’s more than the high survival rate that’s got those brats joining squad Levi.”

The captain felt his chest rumble with warning.  “You need to back up Colonel, before I make you move.”

“You smell so sweet, Levi, I'm starting to doubt my own mind. Erwin, that wily old fox, would never waste an opportunity to get you both under his thumb, but here you are just sweet as candy and on the cusp of a heat. Was he afraid to breed his two mutts?”

“Whatever you think you know, you'd better forget it, it’s safer that way.”

“I don't know about that.  This is some very interesting information after all, I'm sure the higher ups would love to catch wind of it.  Though I won’t lie, I'm almost reluctant to give away such a juicy little tidbit,” he breathed deep, and Levi bared his teeth in hatred, in disgust.  “But maybe I could be persuaded to keep it to myself, for a while at least.  I'm sure the interior will find out on their own eventually, but I could delay my report if I was… adequately distracted.”

“You must have lost your damn mind.”

“Actually, I think I'm finally beginning to see things clearly, but I think you can be pardoned the confusion considering your… condition.  To think… Humanity's Strongest... an omega.  How did none of us know?  How many drugs did they have you on to hide this sweet scent?  Now there’s a crime.  How long has it been, Levi? How long have you been suffering without a real alpha to show you the way?  Obviously that monster hasn’t done you any good.”

The colonel hadn’t moved away an inch, he just stayed there, filling the room with his stink.  It felt like he was drugged.  The air thick and oily inside his lungs, but somehow he couldn’t get enough of it.  The weight was stimulating, even as he hated it and himself for responding to it. 

“Shut up.”

A low chuckle dragged his thoughts back from the fog, but what was more disconcerting was how much closer Sauer had gotten in the meantime.  Thick arms were pinning him in on either side, and the colonel’s smug face watched mere inches from his own.  “You know I can help you, Levi.  Fraternizing across branches is usually looked down upon, but I'm sure I could make an exception for you.  I never noticed before, but that slim figure of yours is quite fetching when it’s on an omega.  Not as soft as I prefer, but that’s to be expected when you’ve been living stubbornly as a beta all these years.”

God, he was angry, so fucking furious, but he couldn’t seem to move under the pressure of that scent.  It felt like being buried alive.  Every breath was making him weaker, dragging him down into some feral state of mind.  “Fuck you,” Levi managed between his teeth.

“Now, now, Captain.  There’s no need to be shy.”

The captain jerked like he’d been shocked as a larger body pressed forcefully against his own.  It was hard and hot, and Levi thought for a terrible moment that he’d pissed himself.  When Sauer sniffed and started to laugh out loud Levi realized to his horror and disgust that it was slick he felt running down his thighs. 

“Look at you, just aching for it now, aren’t you, Captain?” He’d never heard his rank spoken with such honeyed derision.  “You thought you were such hot shit turning me down for the Survey Corps before, but now look at you… just another bitch hungry for cock.  Lucky for you I’m a generous man and won’t leave you like this.”

He hadn’t been able to identify the guy before, but now he remembered who he was.  The guy had been an officer from a privileged family who'd thought playing around in the Survey Corps was his route to glory.  Levi had kicked him out when he'd seen some of the suicidal tactics he was trying to implement in the small squads he’d been in charge of.  He’d treated Survey Corps trainees like pawns to further his own reputation.  Levi had seen the numbers and had known something wasn’t right, Survey Corps was dangerous, but Levi recognized unnecessary deaths when he saw them. 

Sauer seemed to have managed well enough with the MPs if he now outranked him.  It was no surprise considering how those corrupt bastards were known for taking bribes.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

The colonel still wasn’t taking him seriously, one of his hands starting to wander over Levi’s trembling side.  “And why not?” he breathed deep, “You need it, and I don’t see your pet titan coming to save you.  You’ll burn up in the heat without an alpha to get you through.”

Fuck… Eren.  Just thinking about the kid was making him hurt more.  He thought of the brat’s devoted gaze looking up at him while Levi rode him to work out his rut, about how those impossibly bright eyes  seemed half possessed as he swore that he would kill the titans.  Damn crazy thing.

It only underlined how wrong this was, how he hated it.  The fucking nerve of this asshole.  He stank, he stank so bad Levi could hardly stand it.  His skin was searing where he touched him and he wanted to peel it off.  He didn’t care who this bastard was, or what he thought he was entitled to.

This wasn’t happening.

He knew this story a thousand times over in the shadows of the slums.  Poor, fragile omega wanders into the wrong part of town.  Their heat falls on the wrong day, with the wrong kind of people.  Alphas come, and they take.  They take everything.  They do what they want because they can.  Poor weak omega. 

But Levi… Levi wasn’t weak.

“I said don’t touch me.”

“No.”  Chapped lips smiled against his cheek.

Fine.

It was simple, the easiest thing he'd ever done. 

Through all that pain and fog, Levi reached, and he _moved_. The next press against him was a clutch for balance.  Fetid breath fanned against him as the face looming above him contorted with shock, stiff and blinking dumbly as Levi dragged the blade up higher.

His hand was bathed in heat as he split the man from side to side.  Blood was everywhere.  But Levi was still furious.  He wanted to destroy the man, slice him into pieces so even his stuffed shirt daddy wouldn’t recognize him.  This bastard would be an example to all others that thought that they could fuck with him.

He didn’t know how long he was carving the bastard up, but when he found himself seated upon his cooling body soaked in blood while an MP white as a sheet shouted for him to stand down, he supposed it’d been a while. 

It was amazing how the rush of violence had cooled his blood, because he felt remarkably clear headed as he dropped the knife and raised his hands above his head.  He didn’t resist as more police arrived and put him into cuffs.  They looked more scared than he was as they clucked and fussed over the scene, obviously not certain what to think and too frightened to ask.  No one even tried to sniff him as he was escorted to the dungeons.  It must have been hard to smell omega in all that alpha blood.  The thought brought the smallest smile to his lips as he was escorted from the scene. 

Well, at least he’d already applied for leave.

***

Eren coughed as he choked on a mouth full of sweet saliva, his heart beating wildly in his throat.  Something was wrong, enough to make him shake, trembling with a need for violence he didn’t understand.  For the first time since he presented he found himself struggling to hold back the titan.

What had happened?  Why did he want to break _everything_?

As abruptly as the madness had began it stopped, replaced with a hollow coldness that was somehow more unsettling than the rage and fear.  It made him anxious because none of these feelings felt like his own.

With a grim kind of certainty he knew these emotions It were coming from Levi, and the captain was not typically inclined to share if he could help it.  Whatever he felt was so strong his mate couldn't keep it from leaking through the bond. 

He'd withstood the captain's silence, his shifting moods and echoing loneliness, but Eren could not ignore this.  On some visceral level he knew that things were not okay.  He had been letting Levi set the pace, waiting for him to overcome whatever barriers persisted between them.  And maybe, if he was honest with himself, he’d hoped the captain might start to appreciate the value of his company, maybe even miss him, childish as it sounded.  But now, in the chill of whatever it was he felt down the line it was beginning to seem like a terrible mistake.

Without conscious thought Eren found himself packing his things.  If he'd been less frantic he might have been more careful with the samples he’d taken, the notes, but it all seemed meaningless in the wake of sudden panic.

He was still throwing together his gear when he heard the manic hoof beats of Hange's mare.  His head snapped up, eyes trained on her as she crested the hill.  She rode at a steady gallop, but Hange didn’t seem more frantic than usual.  Eren's hands twisted on the reigns, his eyes watching the section commander's face as it came into view.

When he was greeted by Hange's sloppy smile he felt some of the tension bleed from his shoulders.  Maybe the situation wasn't as bad as he thought.  “Eren!  Where are you getting to?”

“I got… a feeling.  From Levi.  Something doesn't feel right.”

“Oh really?  What did it feel like?  You're miles apart at the moment, and have been out of contact for weeks.  The bond should be all but a shadow of its former self by now.  When did it start?” Hange asked, obviously mulling the information over as she hopped down from her horse, patting Eren on the shoulder as she passed.  “Come on, let’s sit down for a minute.  Tell me about it.  A human bonded with a titan shifter is new territory you know, anything could be important.”

Eren frowned, watching Hange for a long moment before he tied his horse back on the post.  Even with Hange seemingly her normal, erratic self he didn’t feel settled.  Something was odd about her, she was somehow certain she trying to distract him.  But, if she was doing that then she knew what was going on… she could tell him.

Jaw clenched tight, Eren followed her into the house, back stiff as Hange waved him distractedly into a chair.  He frowned as the scent of Earl Grey filled the small house, bristling for an entirely different reason once he realized what it was.

That was the captain's tea! Levi would flay him alive for drinking it without his permission.  Eren started to say something to Hange, but a cup was already being pressed into his hands, smelling sweet and painfully familiar.

His hands shook on the delicate porcelain as he forced himself not to cry.  “Where is he?”

Hange didn’t pause an instant.  “Drink your tea, Eren, you'll feel better.”

“I'll feel better when I know Levi is safe,” Eren growled, but drank it all the same.  The tea was too sweet and too hot, but he felt himself relaxing all the same.

It wasn’t until he was staring at the leaves gathered at the bottom of the cup that he started to feel his vision dimming at the edges.  “…Hange?”

“I'm sorry, Eren.”

He felt weak.  Eren heard more than felt the cup shattering in his hands.  Hange had stepped back, hands aloft even as he snarled at her.  He could feel steam filling the room, but it was all happening too slowly, he might not make it.  He hadn’t hurt himself, but the pain inside was more than enough.

Eren stumbled before he gripped the table, distantly aware of the wood breaking beneath hands of smoking meat.  “Where is he?” What was meant as a shout barely manages a whisper, hissed and shattered through too many teeth.

“He’s fine, I promise.  This is just standard procedure.”

“I need to—"

“Don’t worry, we'll take you to him.”  It was dark, but the voice echoing in that feral place was soft, “He needs you now, even if he’s still too stubborn to admit it.”


End file.
